I wanted to thank Catnip as well. I am probably more willing to accept OC because we were separated. Also, OC was conceived before AmLo and I were considering trying to work things out back then. However, he knew about the OC for a while before he told me. During our rebuilding time. While he was still living with her, sleeping with me. I became the "OW".
Also, Vee, don't think this has been a fast process. This has been going on for a year now. I first found out about the Adulteries in Mar 02. After he moved back in the first time. I am interested in reading about Plan A&B. Sounds like maybe I already did Plan B. I could not find the plans when I looked. We are going to look at them together. Thanks everyone!

Hi TO BOTH PARTIES

I'm in the same situation you both are in My H and I were separated, H moved to another state with OW. Please get a DNA test I don't beleive in my heart this OC is my H.

My H beleive this child is his.I did my investigation I found H never got A DNA test
but he keeps telling me he did.

See H only knew OW for 3-4wks befor she came up pregnant His family and us beleive OW was already pregnant looking for a meal ticket.

Ow agenda was to get H to divorce me and marry her
H never divorced me, After Ow couldn't get what she wanted life was hell living with her so H left.

Now mind you I never heard from H the whole time
he was with OW but only twice, I went through hell I couldn't understand how a person could act like I didn't exist.

I found out OW was very controlling and manipulative and H was very weak so these ingredients made it possible for no contact.

H left OW in July of 2002 H started contact. I didn't curse him, I was glad to hear from him
I did admitt, I did a lot of lovebusting being judgemental and critizing H and ow and H choices.

After reading Surviving An Affair I found that's the worste thing you can do if you want to reconcile.

Now when I talk to H it's nothing but Love I'm doing Plan A, H is no longer in the relationship
but he goes back and forth in the fog.

At first he would initiate contact, then I would call I found myself calling all the time H went back into the fog so I stopped contact.

I went into the dark it work now H calls me and won't stop until he reaches me. Purchase the book Surviving An Affair it's a very good book.

It helped me to see what I was doing wrong it also teaches me how to deal with other folks. Now through all this I remain cellibate for 2 yrs.

I was to hurt to allow myself to be with anyone
I'm still celibate because I choose to be
My H and I conversation are better than befor.

Thanks to the information here and the people please read Basic Concepts (POJA) Now I haven't
had the opportunity to get my H to get on the site once H continues to see the change in me
he will become curious.

H already ask me who have I've been talking to. I tell H I've been reading Oh buy the the way H and I live 900 miles apart we are still in the communication stage but it does get better.
I will not chase H.

Basic concepts can be found on this website goodluck and remember no LBING (LOVEBUSTING)

Wife I know you want to get even you want revenge I did that's a big LB, please don't do it, work on your marriage vent here, same to you Husband vent here.

I hope it won't be hard for the both of you to vent without each other getting upset or feelings hurt remember this site is here to help you both.

Catnip I just love your Honesty you help me alot

Hi Malc, good post. I like your insight...

Thanks MALC, I needed that. I am extremely paranoid these days that AMLO is sliding backwards. I know some things will never change, but he does not seem to understand that I cannot handle his insensitive reactions to my feelings. I am terrified that he is hiding something from me. Where can I find Plan A? Can anyone help me?