Please check out my post on GQII and let me know what you think.

Thanks!

My dream post

For most dreams you can make up what it means to you.

But reading it, I think it speaks to your overall distrust of H. For good reason it sounds. I too feel the same way toward my H. I don't believe anything he says.Even when he has promised to me not to speak at all to OW, he has. I told him even when he says he cares for me I don't believe him. ANd he too hates it when he is checked up on.Well, hello, if you act like an [censored], you get checked up on!

dumplin,

You should not be "snooping"? Oh pleaseeee. It's not like he hasn't given you reason to be unsure of his actions! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> And if he had made his life an open book to you, like he "should" be doing, you'd have NO reason to be suspicious or unsure of anything.

Your dreams tell me you're still unsure of him and his actions. And fear that he's still deceiving you. And yes, I'd tell him about them. Ask him for his opinion as to what they may mean. Being unable to control your dreams and having done nothing wrong, you have absolutely no reason to feel you have to hide them from him. If they are troubling you, talk to him about it.

Thanks for the advice. I'm taking the day off today (H and Drupy finally gave me their cold.) so I think I'll take this opportunity (no kids home) to talk to him.

Oh by the way, snooping is a major LB for him. If I'm following Plan A (and avoiding LB's), I shouldn't snoop, right?

To me, snoopin is allowed. I talked with Steve Harley about me finding OW's phone number on my H's cell phone, which my H claimed he didn't call.With my H on phone, Steve asked if I had gotten the cell phone records to see what really occurred. I think he would say, you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself. If there is nothing going on, why be angry?

ps. my H had called the OW in that case. If it smells like a fish, or OW, it probably is.

I talked with H (or tried to) about my dreams. He just said that I was letting my mind run wild. He actually laughed when I said that I had a dream that he wrapped divorce papers and had them under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning and said that might be something he would do. H did say that he wasn't here for a loan or anything like that. He couldn't guarantee that we were going to be together, but that he isn't waiting around to leave me for someone else. That was about the entire conversation.

As for the snooping, H said it makes him feel like a child and he really really hates it. Even when I've caught him doing wrong in the past by snooping, it was still bad on me because I went against what I said by snooping. It is a major LB for him and I've told him that I won't do it anymore so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. If there is any contact and he's hiding it from me, it will eventually come out - in one way or another.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dumplin:
[QB]

As for the snooping, H said it makes him feel like a child and he really really hates it. It is a major LB for him and I've told him that I won't do it anymore so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Too freaking bad!!! If he didn't constantly sneak around and lie like a child, he wouldn't be treated like a child.

I say continue snooping so you aren't left looking stupid when some other crap is exposed.

I'm sorry, Dumplin, but your old man is a piece of work. If he were a real man, a mature committed family man doing everything in his power to shower you with all the love and devotion you deserve, then I would say, don't snoop. However, your husband isn't anything like that and continually displays arrogant, hurtful, selfish and childish behavior and should be watched by a team of nannies. Sheesh, he really pisses me off.

He's one guy I would like an hour with in a locked room.

Catnip =^^=

"If there is any contact and he's hiding it from me, it will eventually come out - in one way or another."

Yes, it will. Hopefully not in the way of an STD that could threaten your life! He can call it "snooping" or "treating him like a child", but the simple fact is.....YOU need to protect yourself. Being in Plan A does NOT mean being a doormat or laying down your very life for him.

Hi all! I don't even have to snoop around here. H came in this morning and said something about some Halls he had (we've all been sick) and I asked him if he had some more. He said if he did they were in his truck. Well, I go out there today to look for them and find a condom in the door of the truck! So much for having to snoop; wonder what his excuse will be this time?

In his defense (since I don't give his side of the story on here) he has been helping more around the house and he has started to be more affectionate towards me.

What I've found overshadows it though in my opinion.

dumplin,
a condom is the ultimate lovebuster. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. My H's fog was very short-lived, so I can't speak to Plan A, but I well believe in the Harley principles.

Re: dreams, I had dreams of H having a girlfriend during the A; I even told him about them and asked if I needed to know something, but he denied it. Your dreams could just be a reflection that he's still comitting adultery. Are you good at telling when he's lying? If you confronted him with your dream re: the loan, he might lie to you anyway.

Just some thoughts.
Prayers,
J

I've started a real good debate over on Plan A/Plan B concerning Plan A and snooping. Come on over and join us if you would like to!!!!

By the way, there was no real response or explanation about the condom. I ended up throwing it away. The long story is on the other thread that I mentioned above.