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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 18
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 18
Married 11 years, 3 kids. In our tenth year of marriage I couldn’t take it anymore. All of the emotional baggage, sexual frustration, and emotional withdrawal were too much. Things were so bad and I didn’t feel like I could talk to anyone. So of coarse I found a women to talk to.<P>It was a definite emotional affair. After a few months I separated from my SP and it was a real affair, although I never intended to comeback to my wife. I though I would be filling within a month so it didn’t matter if I was involved or not.<P>I work with this women and had/have a lot of emotional attachment. I broke it off a month or so and went back with my wife after seeing how the “love feelings” can be restored again in our relationship.<P>Is this true? Can they be? What steps do I need to take to get there?<P>My feelings for the OW are overwhelming, I feel like I’m going to die every time I think about what I’ve given up to try to save my marriage. Quite frankly I’d rather just leave again except this time file. The only thing that has prevented me from doing this is knowing that if I didn’t have the OW as an option, I’d want to work it out with my wife, which is the real reason I came back.<BR>

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
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Joined: May 1999
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There are lots of people here who can help you cope with withdrawal. Realizing that the OW is interfering with your motivation to work things out is a good start.<P>My H also said he was "looking for someone to talk to". He also left a few months later, devastating both me and and our six children. They are not the same children that they were six months ago. They have lost their innocence and their trust that their parents will be there for them. The two oldest want nothing to do with him. The next two have lost all respect for him. Our 13 year old was feeling particularly down last night, and when I asked him what would make him feel better, he said, "For Dad to never have left." Unfortunately my H has filed and is still living with the OW, who has apparently convinced him that the kids will get over this. If you need further motivation to work things out with your wife, just look at the faces of your children. When you desert your wife, you are deserting your family as well. This is not just about your feelings for the OW or your wife, it is about your KIDS.

Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
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Joined: May 1999
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Just bringing this to the top. Can someone help him with withdrawal?


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