Disclaimer: this are just my thoughts please don’t take them the wrong way because I am just venting.

I had a talk with H and my fears were right if the baby is his he wants contact. He thinks it is his decision and I should not stand in his way if he wants to see OC and that is partly why he has not done anything he wants me to heel more so I would accept it. He said it is not the kids fault and he should not be punished, but I think he already is. I mean has not given any money to OW and has not attempted to see him. So, I just don't get it why if he wants contact to get things moving. I mean the longer he waits the more OW can program OC to hate us. She has been lying about the father's name to the state and telling she does not know how to get into contact with him. You don't know what she is capable of and the longer he waits the harder it is to bond with him

OW is just not giving all the information to the state that she knows. She is lying to the state and she could easily get in contact with my H if she wanted too. His cell phone number changed but that was his work cell phone number so OW knew where he worked and she must have forgotten to give that information to the state too. And all she has to do is pick up the phone and call the friend that introduce them and the friend will tell my H and then he will do something.

I also found out that OW got evicted because she owes all this money to them.

I just don't understand if H cares why has he not tried to get the DNA? He tells me he does not care to find out but if the baby is his that he wants contact. But he is kind of hurting OC now by not finding out and giving him money.

He said he just told me he wants no contact because that is what I wanted to hear.

And what about our kids they are just has innocent and how is it going to affect them. They will have little time with there Dad. And then there is me and I do not think I will be able to handle contact. H works a lot and spends little time with me and our kids and now will be spending much less time.

It seems to me that OW will try to use OC and lie to him about H and me. For some reason, OW does not want my H to see OC. I just don’t know how seeing OC is going to help OC or our family. I think OW should have thought about all this before bringing a child into this world from an affair and if she could not provide for the child that should have gave him up for adoption.

I am so depressed about this and I am still angry at my H for doing this in the first place. I am trying to move on but then when I do then this. I fear when I finally do make some progress is when my H will finally be served with papers and then it will bring everything back.

Dawn

<small>[ November 04, 2002, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</small>

Dawn,
Your fears are my fears, I toldly agreed with you about what you said aren't your kids innocent too! Also aren't you innocent! I fear my h is saying the same to me about nc with oc until I get myself on my feet and then he is going to zap me. He had connect for 1 1/2 years and now he's just going to stop. He went to the hospital to see the oc. I do bring this up occasional and he yells, "I can't make any promises, I said I'll try". I'm suppose to be satisfied with that or try to live with it. I don't understand the whole situation why do they need contact? I'm sorry to hear about this turn or events and I know I haven't given you any words of advise but I do feel your pain. I'll be thinking of you. LJ