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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342
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Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">. I question myself over and over again what did I do wrong.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">TINA!!!!!! You didn't do anything wrong.
Your H did and still does.
Tina listen to Heavenly's advice to DaycareDisaster.
Heavenly only comes aboard when she has something profound to say. She always says it well.
Grieving for your former marriage is natural.
Something Heavenly said in that thread should be considered seriously.
You may have another compassionate man waiting somewhere out there for you to share life with.
You must implement plan B. Your H is sucking the life out of you and you are falling prey to his games.
Plan B will allow you to become a stronger person, Tina.
You decide on a timeline and go for it.
Your H may soon remember the life you two shared and will be given time to drift from the fog.
He will miss you, or not.
In the meantime, you will have a chance to make serious adjustments to make you a survivor.
I pray for you always and wish you could stop feeling so much pain and loneliness.
Believe me Tina, you won't feel this as sharp one day down the road.
If I could speed up the heart wrentching pain to make it go faster I would.
You are a worthy special woman, Tina.
Please consider plan B.
Your H has had enough of your caring and worries.
Start little by little to do it a day at a time w/o him or the conflict will never die.
Please know it is not easy, plan B.
Often it is necessary.
Bless you this weekend. Bless you always.
love Debi
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 361
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 361 |
Thanks Debi, All kidding aside, I wish there was a place like AA for all BS with addiction to their WS.
I hear everything you all tell me, I know you all are correct on what I should be doing. I just can't make myself stay away.
Unfortunately, I set myself up again for more pain yesterday. Why can't I learn? Do some of us just destined to remain in this type of limbo?
Maybe I am just in the fog, and can not see my way out.
slowly crumbling, Tina
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342 |
Tina, There is nothing wrong with you still loving and wanting your H. Nothing.
Plan B helps preserve the love you have left for him and to help you become a little stronger.
At the rate you are going, and I did the same thing, you are ignoring yourself and allowing yourself to become too deeply wounded by H over and over again.
Plan B is very hard, the silence is deafening at first.
Tina it cannot be more painful than the daily abuse you take now.
I know you've been through so very much and it seems as if you're getting nowhere.
Plan B, Tina. Through your energy into the rest of the things you do each day. Set up a limit of what you can deal with and stick to it. Take it slow. Plan to file for a legal seperation if you don't want a divorce. All I am saying is to try Plan B for yourself and your marriage.
Pray, pray, pray. I'll pray too. God will answer you in HIS own time. He will not give you an answer you expect sometimes. HE will answer you.
Take it easy and e-mail me anytime you need a personal ear. love Debi
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