My w and I have pretty much stopped all SF. I've been cut off lol. She says its because of my jealousy. I've made too many withdrawls from her love bank with tons of questions and basically not trusting her. But now allow me to give some background and I'm very curious to hear if you guys think I'm crazy too. First I will list what I consider signals of an A and then I'll list signals of no A.

1) Lack of SF

2) wears extremely low cut blouses and sexy clothes to work everyday.

3) personal hygiene ( trims pubic area very neatly and different than before. Even though were not having sex.

4)Constantly buying new clothes for work and continuously talks about work.

5)Does almost nothing around the house, comes home from work and eats and pretty much wants to relax.

6) got in trouble at work for sending too many emails. She said they were all to the bosses wife who she is friends with. Also stays late at work quite often, but not real late like 1/2 hr to hr.

Signals of no A

1) She says she loves me and does show affection like back rubs/foot massage, hugs and little kisses but no SF.

2) She is very active in trying to save our relationship. She goes to marriage counseling with me, reads books and did EN questionaire from this website with much excitement and is trying to help me not be so jealous.

3)She says SF will come back but only after I regain her trust and she can feel vulnerable again.

4) We do alot together on weekends and its starting to be more during the week.

So what do you guys think, I've checked cell records and nothing, I've done the surprise pop in at work and she is always doing exactly what she says she'll be doing. None of my doubts have ever been right. Could it be I am insanely jealous and she's right. Thanks for any input.
-Pledger

I know I'm not a guy, but I think she's not having an affair. It sounds like she feels good about herself and her job.

Lucky You, she takes care of herself despite the stress of her interactions with you, and she has a strong enough sense of her own worth that she doesn't tone herself down to accommidate your insecurities. Which I feel are unreasonable.

If she were interested in another man she wouldn't want to work on the marriage at all. She probably wouldn't put up with your jealousy, and go for someone who likes her the way she is.

Just my oppinion...BB

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lucky You, she takes care of herself despite the stress of her interactions with you, and she has a strong enough sense of her own worth that she doesn't tone herself down to accommidate your insecurities. Which I feel are unreasonable.

If she were interested in another man she wouldn't want to work on the marriage at all. She probably wouldn't put up with your jealousy, and go for someone who likes her the way she is.

Just my oppinion...BB
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Blue bell,
Thanks for your opinion. I was hoping a female would reply and I do appreciate it. The funny thing is my therapist said almost exactly what you just said to me last night, almost word for word too! I do feel very blessed to have such a strong and uniquley wonderful W. Those are all reasons I fell in love with her in the first place. Somewhere along the line I forgot that and became what my therapist calls hypersensitive or hypervigilante. I look at it like I've become a needy little wimp LOL. Which doesn't look good on anybody, am I right?

I've started focusing so much on her I forget about myself and my interest, . This just Started happening about 3 months ago around Christmas time. I have tons of friends and outside interest and haven't been doing any of them lately . At her work x-mas party some dude made a stupid remark about how he took a picture of my W and was going to make it his screeen saver. She reassured me this dude was a suck up and just trying to get on her good side for work reasons and that it meant nothing. Well that was all I needed, now everytime she works late I ask a million questions and driver her crazy.

Any advice getting over this.

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 09:46 AM: Message edited by: pledger ]</small>

I think it helps alot to have your own life and interests and to remind yourself that you need to trust her because she is a good person and deserves it. You can change the things about yourself that give you unworthy feelings and cause you to feel insecure and untrusting.