NoPlace..... Like Home???.... still???

I have been praying for you and your hubby constantly in the last week(since I sent my concerned post to you). I pray that you will accept God's plan for you and allow Him to bless you and your family to the fullest by expelling the OM...(sinfull thoughts) from your precious soul. Please take a hard look at what you want to accomplish in the next year.... 5 years..... maybe even 10. What "fruit" would you like the NoPlaceLikeHome tree to bear? then set your heart and mind to it. You can do it!!!! PRAY, PRAY and then try to ummmm.... lemme think <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .... oh yeah, pray some more. when thoughts of OM come, start to pray immediately. Make that a habbit. Do it 'til it becomes 2nd nature for you. Like when your annoying alarm goes off in the morning, you naturally reach over and turn it off out of 2nd nature. If and when this becomes a habbit, you will find a much closer relationship with your #1 priority in life becomes a very pleasant by-product of your constant prayer.(maybe he wants you to lean on Him and not your self???...hmmmm???). Do I detect a silver lining?.... or maybe an all things work for good to those who love the Lord?

You are strong in Christ, you can take every thought captive by focusing in on your "fruit" goal, and not letting anything....including even thoughts ..... stand in your way. Be proactive.... PLEASE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . Set a goal or two for yourself and be dilligent. Spend the same time you WERE thinking of OM in the Word. Listen to Him. He will speak directly to you if you are walking with Him and focused in.

Bottom line is....: You are most assuredly NOT powerless from this, or any other snares that captain nasty can sling at ya. He's a roaring lion, true, BUT...... you.... you have the LION KILLER embedded in your soul. You can(and I believe will) use it. You can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives you strength, but you have to TOTALLY....100%, "sell out" to Him first. Which includes believing, learning about, OBEYING, then teaching others(what satan is so scared you'll do if you get out of his time consuming diversionary tactical plan).In fact God is testing you. He has given you the tools to "fix" this. Bible, church, other believers support chain, pastors, this page, your hubby...etc... judging from what you have written in the past, you are like a sleeping giant to satan. He will stop at nothing(including making you feel "unworthy" or bringing up your past at just the right moment) to hold your "POWER of the spirit"(that frightens him to no end) at bay. God will give to you unending blessings that you can only store up in a place that moths and the elements will never compromise when you surrender all to Him and just vow to do His will and ONLY HIS will. He knows you are not, and will never be perfect. He wants you to be like David. NOT perfect in action, but 100% motivated to always do God's will. A heart for God.

nuff' preachin' huh..... this is what's been on my heart for you. Had ta get it out. Hate to see all that potential lie dormant.

If you get nothing else outa this, remember this, please <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> :

Be proactive!

pray, and figure out what you REALLY want for this life of yours and then use what was given to you to get that brass ring.

and stop listening to that evil voice saying you can't or you aren't good enough. You don't have to go it alone, and thats why that voice is there, cuz it knows you can, and if you do it will hurt satan to the core.

so......GO FOR THAT BIG BRASS RING.....it's there for the taking, and with hard work and trust, it'll be yours in no time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

love to you in Christ
peace
tim

Hi, Tim,

Thank you for your post. And yes, I'm still and will always be, "Noplacelikehome."

God has been merciful and has given me lots of support. Like you said, through church, fellowship with other Believers, Bible study, and taking every thought captive, things have improved.

I think as time passes, the thoughts get less and less. But there's unresolved anger, hurt feelings, and questions that sneak up on me from time to time so I am trying to deal those things.

I don't expect you or anyone else to understand how a WS can have anger, hurt, and resentment when they are the one who offended. But I'm sure some other WS's can relate.

My H and I are looking forward to celebrating the holidays with our precious baby and making fun memories for him.

Thanks, again, for the encouragement.

How are things with you and Pam?

NoPlaceLikeHome,

thanks for your update, Patty and I are still a couple, but OM is still in the picture. She only contacts him through email and phone, but our "recovery" has no chance until we are only 2. maybe it'll happen. i have hurt her to the core, and vice-versa. trust is a necessary thing that we simply don't have and neither of us is anywhere near sure we will ever get it back, even with hard work on "us" and counseling.

I have had a fresh look at your post that shattered my confidence in a possible successfull recovery for us. I realize that most of your "thoughts" of your OM are not necessarily romantic or "pining for his love" (please correct me if i am offbase on this one). they are "unresolved" issues. unresolved to you. thank you for your honesty in that original post. i think you were hurt by some of the responses to it, including yours truly's, and i hope those hurtful responses do not deter any future candid and helpful posts in the future. i know my wife will have thoughts of OM for a long time to come. hell, they do have a child together, probably. i was just floored by the frequency they still come to you even though you are already over a year out.

i hope you know how much of a blessing you are to me and possibly our marriage. without hearing your "story", being so close in nature to ours, i stongly believe i would've given up hope months ago. just goes ta show ya, you never know who's watching you.you have kept the hope fires burnin' in me and for that, i send a message of true thanks to you , but a special one wrapped tight in a bow and a cherry on top to your amazing husband. he is my role model right now, and i can't think of a better one for me....can you?

i hope one day to give the same as you have given, and the fruit is being spread around thicker than smucker's jam <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

if i trust in Him and do his will, things seem to have a magical way of workin' out for the best. that's an aweful easy line to write, to bad it isn't so easy to actually do huh?

peace and good things in abundance to you, Joshua, and your superhubby.... does he really have an S tattooed to his chest, or is that just a rhumor in the BS watercooler line?

tim

Hi, Tim,

Wow - your message was just the pick-me-up I needed today.

I'm so glad you re-read my post about thoughts about OM and realized that its mainly unresolved issues that I am dealing with.

I am desperately seeking support but have felt it necessary to keep a low profile lately because of the extreme hostility directed towards ex-OW in general on the boards, and it does my emotional state no good to get caught up in the crossfire.

In a way, its been good because I've had to figure things out on my own, or I've been forced to discuss some of these things with H. And while I hate to bring up issues associated with my affair with him, he has gotten better about talking things through with me which has helped us both tremendously.

Yes, he is truly amazing. And he is branded with an "S" for superhubby (but its not on his chest!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> We still have our issues to work on, but there's no doubt in my mind that the man loves me and is committed to our marriage for better or worse. What I ever did to deserve him I'll never know, but I thank God for him every chance I get. Its neat because I have learned so much more about God's love for me in the way that my H loves me.

Sorry, I called your wife Pam - I won't forget now that its Patty. My name starts with a P, too! I've been thinking about her and praying for you guys. Its not easy, as you already know, but its soooooo worth it. Just continue to be the understanding and loving, Christian husband you are being towards her and in time she will wonder what she ever saw in the OM to begin with.

Wishing you God's blessings,
Noplacelikehome