I am having the hardest time lately. Last year at this time is when it all happened and I think I am more pissed now than I have been all along.
I'm pissed because I feel like I was played for a fool, that when I confronted him he turned it around on me and made me seem like I was the one with the problems. It makes me furious that he still sits 10 feet away from her. It makes me mad that this seemingly intelegent man couldn't see that she was the company whore, that he didn't pick up on the fact that while he was agonizing over a pretend baby she was screwing another coworker. I am pissed that all the while I am telling him she's lying that things don't add up , that he takes her word ...because she's his friend and she wouldn't do such a thing. I could go on and on...but y'all know the rest..

On the other hand I am grateful that he's done nothing but try and make it up to me. He even went so far as to inform the entire office of what took place and what she did... after he heard rumors of how jealous I was of the rest of the office women and thats why they weren't invited to our wedding..he stood up for me and withstood the embarrassment of his A.

So why am I so damned mad?? I've done so well in keeping these images of them out of my head...now all I see is them sneaking off to do whatever...
he hugs me and all I can think of is him telling me how it started that she was upset at work and he gave her a hug and he became aroused and she noticed and suggested that they go "take care of him"

I don't even know where I'm going with this ...I just know I am gonna blow if I don't let it out..

so...AAARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

only 22 more shopping days til Christmas..
AAARRGGHHHHHHHHHH

DG:

You have every right and are perfectly normal to be feeling this way....the "anniversary" (for lack of a better word) of these events aways seem to catapult us back in time for a while and is part of the healing process....you won't stay here wallowing in the pit of resentment for long.

If it were me, I would just go to Doc and tell him, "You know, I am so happy with you and love you so much and it seems ridiculous I am having these feelings, but maybe you can help me with this negative stuff and help pull me out of it..." then go on to explain what you explained here.

Try to keep in mind how incredibly lucky you are that there is no OC and never was. That alone would have me on my knees. And even though the two of you were in a committed relationship, your actual marriage has not been tainted and I would try to hold onto that until the sadness and anger disappears from all those old residule feelings from a year ago.

This OW is so pathetic, DG. Just think of her for a moment. She failed at trapping Doc into a relationship and failed at getting him to leave you and has been exposed as a fraud. She is a desperate soul who is looking for somebody, anybody, to complete her because she has nothing to offer. Just the fact she screws around with people in the office speaks volumes for her character.

I admit I would hate it if my husband had to work with his OW on a daily basis and would push for change somehow, but with logistics what they are, I understand that might not be possible right now.

Try to focus on the fact Doc made the announcement on your behalf and at his expense (sort of) and ask him for his help to get you through this icky period of reliving last year. It will pass and you will soon feel a lot beter about everything. She didn't win, DG. You did.

God bless

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ December 03, 2002, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Thank you Ms. Catnip for helping end my pity party before I ripped the Christmas tree down and threw it in the front yard like a raving lunatic.
I don't think I've experienced anger like I felt this morning ever...
I thank God each and every day that we don't have an OC to contend with, there is no way that having contact would have ever worked out for us.

I would like to be able to forgive the OP, but I don't know how...

Honey...

You don't have to forgive her today, tomorrow, next week or next year....just do it when you feel like it. Or not. If you do forgive her, do it for yourself.

It will always be incredible to most of us that our husbands were capable of doing and did do what they did. Whatever the provocation, I doubt any of us did anything remotely bad enough to deserve this retribution from them. However, that being said, it is important to remember that whatever occurred had nothing to do with us and plenty to do with two people's sagging egos.

Your husband is human and he made a mistake. Thank God you won't have to suffer financial hardship because of it. The only thing he will have to suffer is your mistrust, with good reason, until you and he are at a place where that is no longer an issue. This takes quite a long time, DG...be patient with yourself and with him and stay close to God...

Love

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ December 03, 2002, 05:40 PM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>