mshermi,
I admit I have not completely read your post on the judgment here in Tennessee…
But as I was reading it I came across these words… “Equal Protection” and it got me to thinking…
Doesn’t Lil Bit deserve the “Equal Protection” that her half brother gets? He was removed from exOW’s custody for failure to protect him from her abusive exBF…
Li’Man was beaten about the head and neck area with a chainlink dog leash. He had welts on his face, neck and shoulder area. He also had hand prints on his buttocks… (He was only 4 yrs old!)
All of which exOW admitted to causing until the investigator informed her that she would be looking at jail time.. and not just county jail.. Prison.
Sure, she took the classes... She got rid of the ex...
BUT... she has found more bf's that have the same tendancies... Her history is full of these men... Even her own mother told DCS that exOW has a problem with abusive men and abusive behavior on her own part, as well.

Yes, I admit that I am a little over cautious about this mess… I don’t want to see anything happen to Lil Bit… and I know that because we have her so much now, it is unlikely that something like that will happen to her.

My only concern is for Lil Bit. She is an innocent in all this and I want nothing but to protect her from harm... from anyone.

It seems to me… The courts should have taken into consideration ExOW’s past history, which is plagued with domestic violence, when we filed for custody. Our petition for custody is still active.. its just lying dormant right now under mountains of paperwork at the courthouse.

I just wanted to ask your opinion on this matter… And anyone else that has anything “constructive” to add to this discussion… Its not meant to attack anyone… just to discuss MY SITUATION… nobody else’s…

Thanks!

<small>[ December 06, 2002, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: Stacia_Lee ]</small>

stacia

I hope you dont mind me responding, But your situation reminded me of my adopted daughter.
She has a brother who was allowed to live with the grandmother and mother even though my daughter was abused and taken from her 4 times for broken bones, and other horrible things,
You have to keep fighting for it, and sooner or later you will make a difference and it will work out.
If you get the run around with the child welfare office, then go to your congressman. Or get a good attorney and sue for custody.
The congressman issue does work, because I fought for my daughter and got so much run a round because I was white, that I called a congressman, told him, we had done home studies, security checks, passed inspection, willing to provide , medical insurance, food, clothing, love, all with out the help of the state.

By that afternoon she was in my home, and the social workers, had a whole new attitude. There problem was if they lose children, there office looses money, and they felt because she was of mixed race it would be hard for her to fit in. [which is the dumbest statement I have ever heard.] She is now a a beautiful little girl, she has some problems, and we deal with them daily, she is on medication for it, I cant leave her alone with the baby, and I struggle daily with patience with her, But I wouldnt trade having her in our life for any thing, she needed us and more than likely she will always need us.
Keep fighting for litle bit and it will be worth it in the end.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ December 07, 2002, 03:34 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

I think
lil Bit's story illustrates the moral rightness of staying involved in an OC's life. Stacia I don't know your story but it sounds as if you and your WH DIDN'T turn your back on your H's OC--I shudder to think what would have happened to Lil if you left her wholly in the care of her mother

Stacia,

I completely agree with what your saying. Unfortunatly the court system isn't on the same page. You want to do what is best for lil Bit in every aspect of her life, the system's idea of what is best is most of the time a far cry from reality.

The equal protection that is referred to is for all the children to be financially supported equally by dad. The court refused to take in
consideration his children of the marriage that were born first when they did his cs for his oc. He in turn, appealed on the grounds that the court order violated his other childrens equal protection rights. They were not being protected by a court order demanding a certain sum of money go towards their support like his oc. The court of appeals agreed and remanded it back to family court, where they eventually lowered his support. One way they thought would be a good way to figure an appropriate amount was to figure what he would pay in support for 4 kids and give oc 1/4 of that amount. Completley fair if you ask me, this is the way it should be.

But, You have a great idea going on. You may be able to look into it further. Argue the fact that her older brother must be protected from her, so therefore LilBit should be afforded the same. Get every bit of info you can on her and her son's case, I can get some help asking the right questions from one of my groups, they are wonderful wording new court pleadings. I'll see what they come up with.

Melissa