2 weeks ago my wife and I went to our 1st marriage counseling session. The counselor gave us each 2 assigments that had to be turned in on our next solo visit and mine was today. The big assignment that we had to write, was what does our spouse do that makes us angry, mad or upset.

Well, when I started this thing I figured maybe 2 or 3 pages and that included the details and specifics. By the time I finished writing the paper it turned out to be a NOVEL, 14 pages!!!

Before the counselor finished the 1st page, she appeard to already have one problem diagnosed. The session was a hour long and we only got through the 1st seven pages today so we still have more to go.

By the time the counselor got to the bottom of the 1st page she is almost 100% assure that my wife is ADD. My question is, has anyone out there had that experience with a spouse that was diagnosed with ADD and then take the medication, and if they did what were the results, before and after. Was there a big difference in personality, reasoning and conflict.

I guess to make a long story short, did it help the marriage?

Our teenager is on Ritalin, and it has helped her a great deal in school.

Thanks for any feedback

If marriages could be fixed via a pill, there would b elong lines at the Dr.'s offices.

If you're asking, will addressing the ADD issue fix your marriage? No, it won't necessarily fix it, but it may render it much easier to repair.

There's a difference.

IN the scheme of things, you'd have to weigh the side effects of the drugs with the potential benefits, and make the decision accordingly.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jaye Mathisen:
<strong> If marriages could be fixed via a pill, there would b elong lines at the Dr.'s offices.

If you're asking, will addressing the ADD issue fix your marriage? No, it won't necessarily fix it, but it may render it much easier to repair.

There's a difference.

IN the scheme of things, you'd have to weigh the side effects of the drugs with the potential benefits, and make the decision accordingly. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The comment about a pill fixing a marriage, let me rephrase the question............ If the medication was taken did it help resolve some of the problems/issues that were created in the marriage that were very difficult to deal with prior to the medication?

I think my second sentence covered it:

If you're asking, will addressing the ADD issue fix your marriage? No, it won't necessarily fix it, but it may render it much easier to repair.

So for whatever the set of problems is, if ADD is removed from the mix, it is not unreasonable to assume that it will be easier to address other issues.

Of course, I would think the ADD would need to be diagnosed first-hand to make sure.

IN other words, I'd pursue it. Just walk into any drug therapy with your eyes open.

The medication is a tool....It is not a fix.

My 14 y o daughter can tell when I am and when I am not on my meds. It does make a difference in how I handle things.

BTW, the reason most adults diagnosed with ADD ever get to a Dr office for the diagnosis is because they start being treated for depression.

If you are interested in some books to read on the matter, I have a reading list for you:

Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perspective by Thomas Hartmann

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy? by Ramundo and Kelly

Driven to Distraction
Answers to Distraction
Delivered From Distraction by Edward Hallowell.