Send some prayer up for us.

I keep finding inconsistencies in my husband's stories. For example, he told me he was going somewhere and stayed gone for about five hours and then I found out the place was closed. But he still claimed to be there. When I said it was closed, he said oh well i stayed outside. Yeah right. There are several things like this. I'm not sure what to do.

I even heard from someone at his job that I had moved out of the house because I hate the children so much. This was someone he was flirting with (rubbing against at work) so I'm not sure if he really has a problem with my feelings about the kids or if he was using it as a ploy to get her to feel sorry for him and pave the way to flirt. I think he'd do that.

He brought home a bag of clothes friday (for kids) saying they were from a guy at school. i called to thank the guy and he has no idea what i'm talking about. but hubby says the guy knew.

my husband says that when i question him i am holding his past against him, living in the past. i'm not trying to do that. i just don't think things are adding up and don't know what to do. i don't think he's trying to harm us, he just doesn't know where/how to stop flirting. i don't know what to do. wish we could afford counseling or something. no actually i just wish he'd grow up and figure out that he needs to be committed to me and these two kids. i am, and i had a choice.

<edited for typo>

<small>[ December 09, 2002, 02:37 PM: Message edited by: aimee2 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i am, and i had a choice.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">aimee2 you must find a way to tell your husband what you've told us.
You chose him. You are doing your best to make a home for all of you. He must learn respect for you and your feelings.

You are in a tough spot w/your H still lying.

Maybe you can talk to him and let him know you no longer will accept his absences or lies. That you will simply do an about face and plan B (details to be worked out later)without the children.

The ball will be in his court.

He really needs to enter into a poja and honesty policy with you.

Perhaps you can go to your church to talk in front of someone who will act as a MC?

I have read your posts in the past and I think you are an honest strong woman. Now go use some of that strength to straighten out this mess.

Prayers of strength to you aimee2.

love
Debi

Hmmm.... Maybe your husband is not ever going to learn how to appreciate you until he has to face consequences of his bad behavior? I don't know, it just seems like he is taking you for granted!! And continuing to lie to you knowing that you will forgive him and let it go. You are not stupid... He's treating you like you are... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I don't know what to say that would be totally MB-oriented. I feel like saying just let him feel what it feels like to raise his own OCs without your loving support since he doesn't know how to count his blessings! (Plan B?) Could you afford to call Steve Harley and see what HE might recommend as a plan for your situation?

He continues to show you disrespect after all you have done and are doing? I'm flabberghasted... I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your husband seems so very ungrateful I can't even comprehend it...

he is extremely sexual with everyone. makes me wonder if he is a sex addict. altho he doesn't seem interested in me lately. i'm not sure what his problem is. probably if it weren't for the kids, plan b would be a much easier choice. i know they would suffer.

i also think he expects me to leave. he mentions it a lot. he doesn't think he deserves me and seems to be trying to fulfill that. that's the way he has grown up, never thinking he's good enough. but he wants to be (without effort i guess) so he meets new people and they think he is wonderful. but those of us who know his flaws have lost some of the rose color in the glasses! i try to build him up, but there's nothing like the awe when he meets someone new.

Aimmee...the Ladies before me said it all. Like BTDT, I am flabbergasted that your husband could be so incredibly ungrateful for your enormous sacrifice in caring for his two OC's on a full time basis and continue to lie to you, sneak aeound and walk all over you. He sounds like a snake, Aimmee.

I agree with Gem that in order for this to go anywhere, you and he need to enter into a POJA and incorporate the Rules of Honesty, Protection et al, otherwise, Plan B has to be the next step.

Don't let him do this to you, Aimmee. You've given him such a gift and his is spitting on it.

Pray for guidance and ask God to open your eyes and soften his heart.

Catnip =^^=

aimee,

I agree with the others. I'm so sorry your life is like this--he is soooo wrong. Here you are caring for and learning to love these little ones you never wanted and he's still lying his a** off.

Please get help for you, even if he won't get some for himself. YOU deserve it!!!!!!

Prayer,
J

<small>[ December 09, 2002, 06:30 PM: Message edited by: Jenny ]</small>