We are officially citing the "Magistrate" with contempt in her court room right here, right now on this thread. She hated Bipolar Bear on sight. It was weird.

I mean, Bipolar isn't a scary guy, he isn't a dyckhead, he isn't smarmy, in fact, Bipolar is a sweet guy. He's handsome and humble which is kind of a paradox in itself. Or maybe I just think he is handsome because he rings my chime. He's gracious, well-spoken, intelligent, charismatic and funny, kind and good-hearted and he dresses nice. He does, however, have a long ponytail and a neatly trimmed beard and I wonder if that set her teeth on edge. Regardless, there was something about him that hit her wrong the instant he walked in the hearing room and she was rude and condescending and treated him with contempt.

She, the Magistrate, wasn't nice or helpful in any way or in the least. In fact, Bipolar was not allowed ot present one thing about his case. She was annoyed by his mere presence and spent less than 10 minutes with him.

The only questions she asked, and the only thing that was discussed, was " How do you KNOW OW lives at 123 Blah Blah Street in Blah Blah, NY?"

Bipolar: "Well, that is the only address I have ever known her to have. Every document I receive states that is her address."

Magistrate: "So you don't KNOW if OW is still at that address"...

Bipolar: "I can't say for sure and can only go by the information I have received from the system."

Magistrate: "What makes you think she is at that address"

Bipolar: "I don't know...."

Magistrate, "What makes you think anything can be done for you here? This order is NY jurisdiction".

Bipolar: "Yes, I know but I live here and I receive notices from MN and I was unable to present my case in NY"

Magistrate: "You'll hear from the courts about jurisdiction. Good bye"

So, ten minutes later, Bipolar walked out of the hearing room and as the door opened I could see the Magistrate from where I was sitting and she was sneering at him as he left!!! I was stunned. I said (alarmed) "What happened?" Bipolar just shook his head and laughed increduously and said, "Nothing. She was very rude and condescendng. Nothing happened. I wish you would have been in there with me so you could have seen for yourself. You wouldn't have believed it."

So, we drove home in silence, stopped for a quick bite, in silence, ran an errand, in silence. And now, Bipolar is in bed...the place he goes when he is so depressed he just can't deal with life.

I mean...where do people like us go for help? NY hates us. MN hates us. Neither place wants to handle this or even hear our testimony or allows us to present our case and endless documentation or considers any of our situation or tax returns. Meanwhile, we are the jerks, the [censored] and the [censored] who are trying to get out of paying 50 to 60% of our income for CS.

We can file in NY and begin the process again. And we will.

I'm going to scan the Internet and check some of the sites Mshermi told us about several months ago and see if there is a men's rights group in NY that might be able to help in some way. It seems as though these two states pass the buck between the two of them.

cdcollins worked so hard on our behalf spending hours and hours gathering case law for us to take with us today and he was never given the opportunity to present anything. The ONLY thing he got to do is make his opening sentence that he "wanted to pay CS for the child but he is requesting to have the payments and the arrears adjusted to reflect his earnings."

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ December 10, 2002, 01:13 AM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Catnip,
I am so sorry about this. Just can't understand why she would not listen to him.

Dawn

Catnip: I am oh so sorry. It's a shame that people in power like that can't see past any physical features of someone. What frickin difference should it make to her if your husband had hair down to his a** - he's been paying cs and he's not a deadbeat.
How rude of her and how unprofessional. The courts are supposed to be fair and listen to the party fairly. In this year of 2002 (almost 2003) it's amazing to me that people are not accepted for a variety of reasons including race, religion, hair length, hair color, etc..... How dare she!
UGH! What a heffer! (sorry if that's not acceptable but I was gonna call her something else)
Hang in there...I will pray for your husband. I hate to hear that this heffer can send him into depression. She is an awful, evil woman who probably thinks all people in front of her for CS are just deadbeats. She is not looking at the individual person.
I think we should all write our congressman to work on that ruling in Tennessee where the guy got them to look at all his children based on the equal protection amendment and not just the one oc.....
Take care of yourself and Hubby!

A

Cat,

I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say. The only suggestion I can make is for the future battle. Here in Cali, you can write the judge and request they review the file BEFORE the hearing. Maybe if you do that on the next go 'round, they will see the imbalance before you even make it into the court room. I know that here, if you don't request the judge read the file, they won't. They do a quick scan just before they speak with you. That's not enough time for them to familiarize themselves with the case and make a fair judgement. Being able to put it all in writing clearly and concisely, goes a long way towards winning your case, if the judge READS it.

I wish I could offer more comfort. This sucks!

OB1

Catnip, I'm appalled to say the least.

I have nothing to offer you except that I am so sorry for you and Bipolar Bear.

These laws need changed.

I feel as if I'm lassoed to the paying pole with you and Bipolar Bear and my H.

There are simply a few things we can do, and yet with that self-appointed witchy type woman you had in court today there is nothing really to do except wait and try again, while in the meantime your funds are reduced to a minimum, and you must skirt the law to even have what you do have.

Disgusting to say the least.........

We all seem to agree the oc needs some support, but to rape the man for the money is so unfair.

Archaic laws. Reform is badly needed. A judge should be able to take all of the information about the bio-dad [AND bio-mom, especially in our case] and then use common sense to set a reasonable amount of cs.

Alas.....in another world perhaps.

So sorry Catnip.

love
Debi

<small>[ December 09, 2002, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</small>

WOW catnip,
I'm so stunned. Ob1 said it: this sucks!!!

I'm so sorry that happened.

Unbelievable.

Don't give up.

Tell BiP we're rootin for ya.

God be with you.

HUGS,
J

I'm angry for and with you....I will never understand the system at times...our CS was based on Mr."T"'s earnings plus his OT and extra details....(and OT and details aren't always guaranteed) hence the rape on our part by the Judicial system.

What makes my butt chafe is that the real dead-beat fathers make it harder for those that do pay,(regardless of how they feel about it) and it's like the old saying, "the rotten apples spoil it for the whole barrel".

We want fairness...not raping of livlihood....I still don't get it at times...*sigh*

I'll keep praying for you and pray that a door will open for you. You deserve a break. We're here for ya as you are here for us!

Hugs and prayers,
Twiisty

Miss Catnip,

I am so sorry things went the way they did. Doesn't surprise me though. I went to sit in on court one day just to get a feel of it. It was terrible. Most of the time the judge didn't have a clue who was in front of him and for what reason. The same judge all day long.

This is exactly one of the reasons there needs to be court reform. This just sucks!

Don't give up. It is only a matter of time, the tides they are a changing.

Melissa

You know I read over my thread and I really, really over-reacted. After all, cd told me that the chances of this being tossed due to jurisdiction was very possible but not to worry, we would appeal or file in NY. And I know that.

But, that isn't what torched me off. It was the attitude of people who have the power.

So, basically, I carried on and vented because someone was rude to my husband and I was indignant.

Chagrined

Catnip =^^=

Catnip,
I'm so sorry to hear what happened in court even if you had an idea that might be a possiblity it still stinks to actually see it for yourself. I was thinking about you and was the hoping the outcome would be better. But we move on because we have no choice and that is what we must do. To add to my thoughts I have such a nice fuzzy feeling for all you guys do on this site it's incrediable how kind you all are to each other. This MB Fund is such a wonderful idea and it has made me feel good which I haven't in some time so keep up the good work. Lynda

Unfortunately judges are human and can be very biased. I'm sorry to hear she wouldn't work with him at all.

It's normal to get upset when we feel our loved ones are mistreated.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ohbratti1:
<strong>you can write the judge and request they review the file BEFORE the hearing. Maybe if you do that on the next go 'round, they will see the imbalance before you even make it into the court room. I know that here, if you don't request the judge read the file, they won't. They do a quick scan just before they speak with you. That's not enough time for them to familiarize themselves with the case and make a fair judgement. Being able to put it all in writing clearly and concisely, goes a long way towards winning your case, if the judge READS it.

I wish I could offer more comfort.

OB1</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks, Ohbratti...what a GREAT idea. I will do this for sure...thanks for the heads up. We have sent lot's and lot's and lot's of documentation to the courts ahead of time but never specifically insisted/requested the hearing officer READ it ahead of time...we just assumed he did...and he did not.

I thank you, Lady O.

Catnip =^^=

Will keep you in my thoughts, Catnip. I am so sorry to hear of no relief in sight for you all.
Wish there were more that I could do. However, am here for support and to listen while you discuss and vent your situation.

Again, good luck,
Texasgirl