well.. it has happended..after two aborptions and he finally moving out in May 2002, my S had unprotected sex with OW. I found out about this one-she called me and told me in october!he denied it all. Said she is a liar and that she has always wanted to call me and tell me this news. Now, she won't have an aborption. She claims that this was all planned they are getting married and that is final. My S moved back in with his family in August/september and in the middle of September he was leaving again. the kids convenienced him to stay. We went into counseling and things seem to be working fine. Then around the end of November, he came to me and told me she was indeed pregnant and that she hasn't decided to keep it. Time is of the essence. Our counselor says that our marriage can still work out and that we need to work thru this not alllowing her to ruin it one last and final time. Ever since she proved to him she was pregnant, he seems distant. I asked him why and he says that he doesn't know how I would feel when she has this child. I said to him, why don't we keep trying. He is so distant. Has anyone been in this situation and can it be worked out? I feel so unloved, lonely and cold. He wants me to give him sex however, whenever it's mine turn, he says-later or better yet..I don't want that smell on my hands. I have to shave etc..what bull...I was so hurt by that statement-I now give it back to him. I really am so tired of this affair-it's been three years. i think it is time to go..please don't be cruel or sarcastic..just need to hear what other marriages have gone thru and if there is any hope left. Personally, I would leave tomorrow, but my daughter would be in a psychatric hospital. that's how she reacted when he originally moved out when no one was home. he called on the phone and told me he left! After 21 years of marriage I get a call! Please any advice?

Wow. I'm in the same situation, except I can't imagine after 21 years having to deal with this crap. You poor thing. I'm not an advocate of divorce, or else I'd be gone already too.

What are your husband's intentions for taking care of the child? Have you discussed custody matters, etc.?

SS
Pleae read the basic principal, see if you can seek counseling from Dr Harley on this site also make your H get a DNA test and please click on address and read. There may be some helpful information for you and H.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=35;t=003388