I am 32 years old with an 11 soon to be 12 year old son. He is from my first marriage. I have been married to my second husband for over 8 years. My marriage started totally wrong. Weeks after I got married to my second husband I found out he had been unfaitfull. He is in the military and at that time the way I found was through some of his personal belongs that I was taking home with me as he was getting ready to go overseas. It was difficult to tell him how much he hurt me and I dont think he understood. I saw him twice during the year he was gone. Somehow we got through it but it was rough. Always fighting and during that time my son was about 4 years old. He heard the fights, saw the fights. I never really gave it much thought to what it may be doing to him. Now he is just about 12 years old and a lot has happend to make me think about what he is going through. I have made the mistake of telling him what his stepfather has done and I know this has to be affecting him somehow. My husband got into a lot of trouble recently and along with this trouble came an affair came out of it. During this time my husband was in jail for a few days and I was torn to pieces. My son did not shed one tear. He came to me and told me that his father deserved it for all he has done to me all these years. There are times when my son tells me he loves his (step)father but then he makes him so made he doesnt care what happens to him. Our fighting has decreased quite a bit but last night I was angry with my husband. We were at a festival and I wanted no part of him and began walking away with my son. My son became angry and said just to folllow his father. I told him that I did not want to be near him that is when my son said "I dont want any part of this, do not put me in the middle. I dont want to make dad mad because then he will be mad and take it out on me" I felt awful and very hurt. He has never said anything like this. He was angry and would not say a word. My son had this look on his face that really concerned me. I have put him through too much and I feel so terrible about it. He is a good child with excellent grades. He has a warm heart when it comes to helping people and being fair. I am so afraid that this may change as he grows older. My marriage is really hanging on by threads and I feel like all the weight is on my shoulders. My husband and I are trying to work things out. Its the angry attitude my husband carries and mine also ones the fire starts. What do we do?
<br>Elizabeth