I am new to this forum and I am hoping to get closure to what I am going through.
Well, I have been married for a little over 2 years and my dear husband has just informed me that he has two kids out there. I need to know if anyone can ever move on after such a betrayal. Yes, I do feel silly asking this question, but I just need to know how many messed up people are in this world. The two kids, born to different women were all born while we have been married.

Fooled1

Fooled1,
I hate to have to welcome you to this forum but you've found the right place for this type of situation. You have every right to angry, confused, hurt, disgusted...etc. You said you wanted colsure...are you planning on divorce? Have you read the Harley Principles or done individual and/or marriage counseling? We all know the pain of betrayal but two OCs by two OWs??WOW. I feel for you hun. We are all here to help each other and grow in spite of our circumstances. Hugs to you! Keep reading and post often.

NC4U

No I haven't been through counseling yet. He thinks we can make it work. I am sceptical about it. I don't know how ok I can be being a part of these kids lives (I feel he needs to be involved in their lives somewhat - I mean if he thinks CS will be enough, then I suppose I have to accept that) But overall, I just don't know what to do with myself where my marriage is concerned.

Fooled1

Dear fooled1
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Can you give us more info? Were the A's with the OW's running at the same time, how did you find out and are the A's over? Do you have any kids? I would recommend that you continue to post here but also read as much as you can elswhere and consider IC. Is your H still at home? Also have you confided in anyone-if not,please consider telling someone you can trust to support YOU.

Regards,
Deluded

fooled,,,, i have 2 questions. are the kids that are out there from before or after your marriage? are they from before or after the start of your engagement? if the answer to these questions is no then you most certainly have an issue of communication and skeltons from the closet but there has been no emotional trauma such as an sffair with oc brings to a marriage. some real open heart to heart talks can put you back in stride.

if the answer is yes then you have some real tough decisions to make.

No, affairs were not at the same time. I found out about 3 months ago. H still at home. Him and I have no kids together. I have talked to people. The ball is in my corner - I just don't know what to do!

Dearest Fooled1,

I normally post over on the Gen Questions II Board, but Mshermi, being the dear one that she is, notified me that you were here needing support.

I see that your H has gotten himself in quite the mess, as did my ex-H. You see, I too found myself dealing with two OCs from two diff OW. Almost unbelievable.

I'm terribly sorry you find yourself here honey. I do know how you must feel right now. And believe me when I tell you, that you can survive this.

I've placed a link to a encapsulated version of my OC story for you to read. I'm not trying to frighten you with it, but I do want you to read it. What I think is important when reading it, is to see that things DO CHANGE, and the hurt and anguish does subside. Mainly, I'd say, making it safe for both partners to communicate their true feelings in this situtation is crucial. Being RADICALLY HONEST, but at the same time respectful of one another.

What I think is the most important thing to tell you to do right now is to NOT make any important decisions. This is all still so raw and fresh. There are so many things to still talk about and decide ... and before you and your H can do that, you have to digest what you've recently discovered.

My OC Story

I have a meeting right now, but I will come back and post more, hon. Just know that you are NOT alone in this. We are here to help and support you thru this.

Many Prayers .....

Love,
Jo

<small>[ January 08, 2003, 10:05 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>

Thank you for the kind thoughts. Whilst my husband is sorry to put me through all of this, I don't know how to trust him again. I don't even know if I want to be with him anymore. I wake up dreading to face the day everyday. I am all knotted up for the most of the day. How understanding can a person be in this situation? I know the kids are innocent beings in this whole mess, but I just don't know how I can live with this! I don't even know if I can see a MC