my h revealed to me he had an a and had a child. h and i have no kids together we have been married for 10 yrs march 17th. i have two kids from previous relationship teenagers now. h helped raise them from toddlers. suspected h of having several affairs and felt i had not closure. denial is all i got. so i had 2 affairs myselt both he knew about 1st one i told him about before we married and 2nd one accord last the summer of 01. when h found out he was a basket case. i however, did not have any pity for him and he met ow and carried on an affair with her. i had tubal done back when h and i met. we were young and never expected to fall in love and be together today 13 yrs. he said we could adopt kids if we were together. i was okay with that for a while but, i started feeling depressed wanted baby with h. we did research and were looking into doing a reversal. costly however, and we could afford at the time. i was prolonging having a hyster. for female problems waiting on us to do the reversal. now since this has happened i will be having a hyste in feb. h wants to wait but, i do not want any more kids now especially not with him for doing this to me. i will not accept having his second child. we are in mc church again pray together communicate more and are very close now like we were before all the problems. he is fighting for this marriage harder than i am and he should however i see the love the mistake and i know how low he felt after my affair he tried to fight for me and i wouldnt listen. that is what is keeping me with him. the love is so strong he cried got down on knees pampered me and everything and i still continued to cheat on him because i felt he was getting back what he deserved and what had been done to me in the past with prior relationships. ow is a psycho h seen other child once since i found out on 11/11/02. oc is 5 months old. saw pictures of him. working on legal procedures with ow. she refuses to let h see child with me and he is not going to see oc wo me that is the agreement between us. waiting on prosecuting office to get paternity established he is searching for attorney for visi. rights. however, i am not sure i want child part of my life. ow is of different race and oc is mixed. another issue for me. ow is pissed husband did not leave me for her but, he is to blame for that because she should been made fully aware that he was not going anywhere. ow is crazy have her on type screaming at him while he tells her he will see child with me. she is a devil for sure. she knew he was married and set out to do this. she already has a daughter who she had calling my husband daddy and had the child calling my husbands mother grandma. ow daugher is mixed also and dad does not have any contact with child and it is obvious why. ow is poor trash. live on public housing he showed me where she lives. quit her job because she was looking up our personal info at work and her called her boss they were about to fire her. but people found out oc was by my h and she was the talk of office so she states he made her life a living hell at her job. he told her off about that. my h usta work with the B. he quit and went back into law enforcement. i would like to hear feedback and i hope my story can touch the hearts of those who are in doubt. i believe in God and i know we will make it through this so does h. we are fighting with all our might. i read the bible, inspirational writings are all over my desk at work, in purse, in nighstand and i use them as a crutch.