After finding out about my H's A and the OC I kicked him out and moved into a house with my Mom so she could help me with DS who still under a year at that time and financially. My H calls me everyday and we still do some stuff together but I feel myself not missing him as much and I feel me slipping away from him more and more everyday. I have to admit that H has done everything right since I found out about the A. He is sorry and swears he loves me and knows that he has broken my heart and ruined my dreams. I thought seperating was the best thing for me at the time but now I feel like even if we wanted to work it out, their is physical and emotional distance between us. My Mom hates him for what he did so when I see him, I know it bothers her. I filed for a D a few months ago and it should be final the end of Feb. I know that I need to divorce him even if I still loved him to protect myself and my son financially from what he has done to himself. So with the divorce to be final soon and I'm not sure if I still love him. I KNOW that we did not have a bad marriage, we had sex 3-4 times a week, went out on dates, had an active social life, loved to cuddle and just watch movies together, play video games at Dave and Buster's etc. I think I would feel differently if I truely believed that I had some part to play in the A. I want to take some of the blame onto myself but know that I did nothing to push H into an A. Which I think is making this even harder on me because it was ALL about him wanting his cake and eating it too. Did I make a mistake by moving out to soon to think about reconnecting with H? Can you rebuild a marriage and still get divorced? Can you live apart and still try to reconnect with each other?

tinml,

Well, I don't think it was a huge mistake, but one that can be fixed, if you do want to save your M. That's the problem with gut reactions, you often regret them later. How many of the stories have you read about here? I know that there are many who have faux seperations/divorces that have helped out w/the children of the M being considered first. And, they are on their way to recovery! What caught my eye was the statement that you feel there is distance developing because of your current seperation. Do you want to fix that, and rebuild your M, or do you want to let it become a huge canyon? It is ultimately your decission, and we can only offer advice.

How much of the principles have you read about, and are using? Most of these work better if you are living together, but can work while you are seperated as well. If you want to save what's left of your M, you need to work on them NOW! You may also look into contacting the Harley's for counseling too.

I know that this is still fresh for you, and the pain is SO intense, but you can and will make it through this, no matter what the outcome!

I hope that I helped, at least a little.

Tigger

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by thisisnotmylife:
<strong>After finding out about my H's A and the OC I kicked him out and moved into a house with my Mom so she could help me with DS who still under a year at that time and financially. My H calls me everyday and we still do some stuff together but I feel myself not missing him as much and I feel me slipping away from him more and more everyday. I have to admit that H has done everything right since I found out about the A. He is sorry and swears he loves me and knows that he has broken my heart and ruined my dreams. I thought seperating was the best thing for me at the time but now I feel like even if we wanted to work it out, their is physical and emotional distance between us. My Mom hates him for what he did so when I see him, I know it bothers her. I filed for a D a few months ago and it should be final the end of Feb. I know that I need to divorce him even if I still loved him to protect myself and my son financially from what he has done to himself. So with the divorce to be final soon and I'm not sure if I still love him. I KNOW that we did not have a bad marriage, we had sex 3-4 times a week, went out on dates, had an active social life, loved to cuddle and just watch movies together, play video games at Dave and Buster's etc. I think I would feel differently if I truely believed that I had some part to play in the A. I want to take some of the blame onto myself but know that I did nothing to push H into an A. Which I think is making this even harder on me because it was ALL about him wanting his cake and eating it too. Did I make a mistake by moving out to soon to think about reconnecting with H? Can you rebuild a marriage and still get divorced? Can you live apart and still try to reconnect with each other?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

lee-
i'm new here but i'm confused about your response.
did you type something in there that i can't see or did you just move my thread? thanks.
anyone-
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME HELP and ADVICE!!!

thisisnotmylife,
I believe if you want him back and he still wants you back, you can make it work. Ultimately, the decision will have to be btwn the two of you. What is it that you want? If you go back to him, won't you be in his financial mess?

Fooled1