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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1 |
This is the first time I have tried posting a problem on here so bear with me. I have been separated from my ex of 34 years for 15 months ! It was a very abusive relationship and I am very happy to be out of it. Now to my surprise I am in an awesome relationship for about 7 months now with a 34 year old who treats me like the best thing that ever happened to him ! I am 52 by the way. Don't look it but that is besides the point ! I have 4 chidren he has none ! He has had 3 long term relationships before and ended each whe he decided he did not want to marry and have children with these partners. He now says I am the right one for him and he wants us to stay together !! He only regrets that now that he has found someone he would want to have children with it is not possible. I am so concerned that this cannot work and that he will regret not having children later. I am in the process of finding out if we have a way out of this as I would gladly have his children if I could. What are your opinions of this situation ?? I have to say that we get on wonderfully and cannot bear to think of being apart we suit eachother in everyway. Thanks for your input !! Vivien
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Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430 |
Vivien,
This board is for folks experiencing a pregnancy/child as a result of an affair.
But since you asked an opinion, I'll give you some.
One, I'm sorry to hear you are divorced. Was it a result of infidelity? Is there ANY chance you could reconcile with your former husband? Sure?
Two, if you and this new guy feel compelled to get married and live out the remainer of your lives together, and you want children together, it IS possible that you could adopt together, especially since you husband is under 40. Adoption is a beautiful thing; there are many children in this world who need families. (I am in the process of adopting internationally.)
Three, even thought you and your new guy "seem suited to each other in every way", I hope you get pre-marital counseling!!! Whatever issues you did not resolve with your X (and this guy and his former relationships), there is every reason to believe you will bring those issues into this relationship eventually; nothing is perfect, and the bloom comes off the rose. Just stating what I've read times-over from Marriage Counselors. Age doesn't seem like a big issue to me; but there are other things that can really hurt relationships. It's good to go into this with open eyes, knowing what dysfunctions could trip you up (we've all got some!!)
Best wishes,
J
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