Hi...remember me?

I am about two weeks from my due date, and I'm still a little on the fence about keeping this child or giving it up.

I think you mentioned that you had given a child up for adoption. What were your feelings like when you were this close?

I feel very distanced to the child, and I'm wondering if motherly love will kick in once I deliver the baby. I have figured out a way, financially, to keep it. I'm just really scared about doing this alone.

I can see my life going both ways. I feel VERY selfish for not wanting this child 100%. Is this normal? I also get afraid that I will always resent the child if it does turn out to be OP's. Is this normal?

I am so confused about all of this.

OMTM,

Yes, I do remember you, but had to go back and read your past posts to recall everything!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What were your feelings like when you were this close?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, since I was only 18yrs old, I was pretty scared of EVERYTHING!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I feel very distanced to the child...... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I believe that I know what you are talking about, though, about being distant from the child you are carrying. I believe that I did have feelings like that. I know that I loved her VERY much, and knew that my decision was the BEST for HER. Think about it, I knew that she was going to a very loving couple who'd wanted children for years, but were unable to conceive one of their own! She was going to be so much happier with this family than I could do for her at that time of our lives.

You are in a VERY difficult spot right now! You shouldn't feel selfish, because you need to think of everyone involved right now! You need to think of what this can do to your other 2 children, both if you keep the baby and if you give it up for adoption!

You state that you are single parenting 2 already, and have figured a way financially, but what about physically and emotionally? I am not trying to push you either way, because it is your decision, but you need to think of everything(which can be overwhelming, I know)!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ......I'm wondering if motherly love will kick in once I deliver the baby. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As for the maternal feelings, I recall that I didn't have any for the D we gave up for adoption, as I knew that she ultimately belonged to the couple who adopted her! Of course, I was decided from about 3-4 mos into the pregnancy about this couple.

I don't know if I helped at all, but I hope that I did! It has been 15 yrs, so things aren't quite as fresh as they used to be! I do know that I would love for her to contact us when she's 18 or older, but will leave that choice up to her!

Love and prayers for a safe delivery,

Tigger