Hello,
I am wondering if there is anyone here who has managed to have a successful marriage after the H had an affair that resulted in a child, or the W that resulted in a child. I also would like to know how the everyone dealt with the OC, if it's not too much to ask?

Fooled1

Fooled1,

Well, my H and I are almost 3 yrs into recovery, and I had the OC(who will be 2 in March). I know that there are many here who have survived the termoil, in fact, the majority of oldies are still married to the WS and have their own ways of dealing with the OP/OC! There's even one couple where the H now has full custody of the 2 OC's, and no contact w/OW!

We, personally, have had no contact w/xOM since July 2000! We are enjoying Abbi more and more each day! And rebuilding our M will be a lifetime thing, but that's how all M's should be, a lifetime of work on both parts! We love each other too much to give up!

Hope this helped,

Tigger

We have nc with oc right now, I don't foresee it in the near future either but who knows. We are surviving slowly, the oc will be 2yrs on 3/8 and I just found out 10/2002 so the oc was close to 1 1/2 yrs old before I had a clue. We take things day to day I have IC and went on medication just to be able to do day to day task. H is very remorseful and is doing and saying all the right things but it has changed us (me) who knows maybe for the better. It has been close to 4 mths past d-day and I do have more good days than bad but I still have a hard time with everything. I come here and read and let myself vent,thank goodness for this site. I think we will survive! Only time will tell!!!

It has only been 2 months but, H is being supper supportive through this whole nightmare you know. I have faith that through God H and I will be fine. Future looks clearer to me each day. I get stronger every day. I believe I am where God wants me to be regardless of the circumstances. I am in charge of my outcome of life you know. It is very hard and difficult at times but, I haven't cried in over 2 weeks. God bless you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

fooled1,

My H and I have been married for 9yrs, 10 yrs this November. We have been in recovery from his A and OC for 22 months now.

We have been involved with the OC, better known here as Lil Bit, since she was 5 wks old... she is now 18 months old.

We actually have shared physical custody. With us having 51% of each week, court ordered. No child support because the ratio of time is so close.
As far as Lil Bit is concerned, I am her Mommy... she lights up when she sees me... she is a little angel... and the light of my life.

My H and I have been working very hard on our marriage, but up until just a few months ago I felt it was only me doing all the work.. which I have to say, I WAS!
It actually took a horrible meltdown of emotions, from me, to wake my husband up to the deep deep pain he had inflicted on me.

Just 2 wks ago we found out that we are pregnant and expecting our FIRST child together in September. H is very excited. He is much more attentive, but thank heaven that had begun before finding out about the pg... He is truely putting his all back into our marriage.

Prayer and diligence does wonders... There have been many here that have stormed Heavens Gates with prayers for me, my H, our marriage and my infertility... I know the Lord had answered their prayers... for that, and for each of these lovely people, I am forever grateful.

Thank you all for your responses. My marriage is going through the turmoils of the baby mama dramas, and I just needed some sort of encouragement. With God in front of us, I am sure that my marriage will be fine.

Fooled1

Fooled1
My wife and I have been back together since Sept. The OC was born one month ago. I am raising him as my own child. I was there the moment he arrived and tears came to my eyes. There will probably be a part of me that will always wonder, what if he were mine biologically. I cried the moment he was born and I smile every time I see him. May be one day I will have a child that is truly mine, but right now I am happy to be a father, a father to this child that the world has a hard time loving but who is an innocent victim to the mistakes of adults. I love my wife very much and my marriage is better than ever. I am thankful to God for giving me this opportunity to still be married to her. And also to be a father.

tofu

so glad to hear your doing well, and congratulations on the new baby. Hope mom and baby are well.

My husband and I are doing very well, he is learning to be more supportive and our issues have nothing to do with our blessed daughter, we both love her very much.

Tofu,
In a way I think you might be lucky - you don't need to deal with CS issues, or OM, do you? In my situation, at the moment we don't know how involved my H will have to be with OC, or how much OW will let him be involved. I just don't appreciate not knowing all the variables!

nc,provide support

we already had a child when we found out about oc. nc was a agreed by ex ow and my h. Only h and I know of oc. We did not involve our other family memebers in this decision.

It is possible to rebuild your marriage. It is not easy but it is worth it. One day oc will come into our lives again..for now I will be happy and cherish every moment I have with my family.

Tofu, your story is very touching. God Bless you and your new little one. In my eyes, you are the child's father...