We went to MC yesterday. For the most part, I thought the session went well and we are finally on the right tracks to rebuilding the M. However, husband disclosed during MC that he would like to have some type of relationship with OC. My chest got tight and I could barely breath. He says he feels responsible and althought he is terribly sorry about the ONS that resulted in the OC, he feels he must do the responsible thing and be there when OC needs him. I could not agree to commit to this. Although I don't feel it's fair that OC should have to suffer for a mistake his parents made, I just don't think it's fair to me to have to look at a constant reminder of his disloyalty toward me. Maybe I'm wrong and I was wandering if anyone else could offer me some advise. I attend MC alone next week and I know we will try to dig deep to understand why I have the feelings I do about OC.

Also, any adice on how to break the news to parents, friends, love-ones, co-workers who all know that we have no children of our own?

Hi! Do you have children? My advice to you is prayer and God. I am in similar situation. H had a with OW child conceived. H first child however, I have two teenagers from previous relationship. h and I married 10 yrs in March. Dated for 4. No children together. H wants contact and I have to make decision if I want this 100%. I feel the same constant reminder however, OC is innocent as I am. Shouldn't have to suffer for their stupidity. I am not sure what I want actually. See my story below. I have a different outlook each day sometimes changing with the hand on the clock you know. It is not an easy decision. Either I accept this child or risk losing my H. H wants me and child in his life but not OW. NC with OC/OW since I found out 2 months ago. Child will be 7 months old tomorrow. You and me are in same type of position. Trying to decide what to do about this messed up situation I am forced to fortake in. God bless you!

BUTTERFLIE, I'M new to this site and would like to know, did your H actually leave you for OW and then come back to you or is this OC a result of 'A' behind your back, the reason i ask is my H of 19 yrs (we have a 17yr old daughter) walked out on me in sept 2002 so suddenly and is with another woman (younger, lower class and psycho) and she is now 4mths pregnant, he is still with her but apparently everybody tells me he's not happy and he doesnt look it, he tells me he 'sort of loves her' and he's staying with her for now, I live in hope !!

Hi, LMW. No he did not leave me we are still together trying to work through this. You see we were trying different options to have baby but, time was of the essence.

In the meantime we were having problems among us. God knew how bad I wanted husband to have child and he supported me when I cried and all. He stated if we could not have kids that would be okay.

The child was born from A as you asked. Very hard on me because we have no children and I have been with him for 13 years and he sleeps with a stranger who he only knew for months and give her a baby.

I have to get over that and this whole big stupid nightmare you know. So to answer you question again he is still here he broke down when he told me and wants to work it out with me never intended on leaving me for her.

But, he is only here for as long as I allow it because, I am still up in the air about all this you know.

Thanks for reply, not in same situation then? at least he not left you, but is still hard for you..... hope everything works out.