HI, I'M NEW TO THIS BOARD BUT NEED HELP, MY PARTNER OF 19 (MAINLY HAPPY) YEARS SUDDENLY WALKED OUT ON ME SEPT 2002, HE SAID HE NEEDED SPACE, STILL LOVED ME BLAH BLAH BLAH AND ASSURED ME THERE WAS NOBODY ELSE, HOWEVER, A YOUNGER GIRL HE HAD A BRIEF AFFAIR WITH 2YRS PREVIOUSLY APPEARED AN THE SCENE AND HE STARTED SEEING HER IMMEDIATLY, SHE HAS A VERY BAD REPUTATION FOR SLEEPING AROUND AND FOR CATCHING MEN THAT BELONG TO OTHER WOMEN, SHE HAS ALREADY SPLIT TWO MARRIAGES UP, AND I'VE BEEN INFORMED THAT SHE HAS HAD HER EYES ON HIM FOR A FEW YEARS AND HAS BOASTED THAT SHE WOULD GET HIM EVENTUALLY. tHE PROBLEM NOW IS THAT SHE IS PREGNANT TO MY X, AND I'M DEVASTATED, THIS GIRL SEEMS TO HAVE WON THE EMOTIONAL LOTTERY COS NOT ONLY HAS SHE GOT THE MAN SHE'S BEEN AFTER FOR YEARS, BUT SHE'S PREGNANT TO HIM AFTER BEING TOLD "BY SPECIALISTS IN AMERICA" THAT SHE CANT HAVE CHILDREN. sHE'S 24 BY THE WAY, X IS 37. i FEEL SORRY FOR MY EX COS WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE BEGINNINGS OF A MID-LIFE CRISIS OR A BIT OF A FLING HAS TURNED INTO A MAJOR CATASTROPHE, HE HAS CLEARLY BEEN HAD HOOK LINE AND SINKER BY THIS GIRL (AND HER OVER-POWERING HUGE FAMILY) AND I FEEL THAT HE IS IN A MESS HE CAN'T GET OUT OF. i KNOW HE'S TO BLAME AS WELL BUT SINCE ALL THIS HAPPENED FIVE MONTHS AGO, HE HAS LOST WEIGHT, STARTED DRINKING A LOT, AND HAS AGED ABOUT FIVE YEARS. HE IS ALWAYS TEARFUL AND SORRY LOOKING WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER AND HE HAS LOST A LOT OF RESPECT FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. i KNOW I SHOULD WALK AWAY BUT I CAN'T HELP THINKING HE WILL COME BACK TO ME ONE DAY AND BE THE MOST SORRY MAN IN THE WORLD, ANY IDEAS OR ADVISE FROM OTHERS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION.

LMW,
Sorry you are in pain. Be patient, this is a great board and many here are dealing with similiar situations.

In the meantime read as much info as you can and take good care of yourself. You can be there for him without owning or taking on all his problems. Good luck. tew

P.S. Try not to post in all caps - makes it harder to read.

<small>[ February 01, 2003, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: tewjtm ]</small>

Hello,
I wanted to say sorry. I posted on the wrong thread.

Well, hopefully, you get more responses soon.

Sorry to say welcome. How are you doing?

I would read all the principles on this site. It sounds like your H is in the fog right now.

I am sure this is devastating to you especially since you have been trying to have children for so long.

All, I can say is to work on yourself and try to get into some counseling.

Dawn

<small>[ February 04, 2003, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</small>

up for more replies

hello, sorry its been ages, p.c. difficulties. Dawn, i think you got the wrong idea, not been trying to have children of our own, we already have two, s 24yrs d 17yrs. Anyway, we're talking civil to each other on the phone at the moment, im just trying to convince myself he's in a mess he cant get out of just yet and that he doesn't really love her, I have days when i just think, face it girl, he does'nt love you anymore he wants her but that makes me feel like s--t so its easier to think he's having a mlc and got caught up in an A that she wanted more than he did. He dropped d off today, (not seen him for 4 wks)he was pleasant, he commented on my hair, asked if i was going out and where, asked how many valentines cards i got (laughed) and kissed me when he left!!!
on another note, my sister saw him yesterday and they had a long chat, but something he said to her makes me wonder wether he really cares about her or just the baby, he is so anti-smoking especially pregnant women, and she is still smoking (4mths pregnant)this is what he told my sister.. she told him she "only had two cigarettes all day" he said to her "what you telling me for, all i care about is THAT and pointed to her stomach, he then said, when you've had it you can smoke as much as you want" does this sound like he loves her??
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