Wife just had OM baby 3 weeks ago. She has been wanting to try to put our marriage back together since mid pregnancy, I have been reluctant. We have both read and agree with "Surviving an Affair", however I do not have the faith that it will work. I read some of the other posts and it did not look good. Once needs are being met again, does the bitterness truely go away? the disgust? the anger? She will give up all contact with OM, that leaves me to discuss the baby with OM (he does want to be involved in baby's life). I need this as much as a hole in the head. Will sexual thoughts of wife return after needs are met? Or will my thoughts always turn to her and OM and then to disgust and anger?

I know the best thing for our kids is for us to be happy wether we are together or divorced. I am happy now. The book gives me confidence the happiness could be achieved by getting back together. However, I do not have the faith that the required details to achieve the happiness can be completed.

Any insight to similar problems would be appreciated.

Here is a brief summary of our life:
Married 5/95
Separated 9/01
Kids - B 4, G 3
Found MB 9/02

<small>[ February 17, 2003, 02:00 AM: Message edited by: DECISION TO MAKE ]</small>

I am at work and have no time for full answer. To answer shortly: Yes it can be overcome if both of you fully commits on rebuilding trust and love. I have an old MB post I reread from time to time to get inspiration from. Hopefully it can give inspiration also to you. It is written by Brokenbutnotchrushed. I will post it in a separate tread so it will not hijack yours. Let your wife read it also, it could be an inspiration to her in her struggle to rebuild your trust.

<small>[ February 17, 2003, 03:50 AM: Message edited by: Frank57 ]</small>