I need a little help here(bad)
What I thought was going to be a good day, My wife for 3 year just dropped a bomb on me today.
She called my office today to tell me that the baby that she is 4 months pregnant for is not mine,I asked her is this true and she said YES,
no doubt in her mind she did the math.

She said she wanted to tell me when she found out she was pregnant but could not bring herself too.

I dont know what to do,I love my wife very much and she said she loves me also,plus she and the baby is on my insruance and I cant just take her off.

She said that she does not know how to get in touch with the baby dad,she said she has been trying,but the OM has changed his cell # and if I want to stay as the dad to the baby she would be alright with that.

My head is still screwed up and I dont know what to do,because this was going to be our first child

I will take any help anyone can offer

If you love each other, then both of you need to go to a marriage saving counselor ASAP. In the meantime I would advise you and your wife to read the Harley books 'Surviving An Affair' and 'His Needs Her Needs'. Also read Pregnant with a Lover's Child letter #1 and Pregnant with a Lover's Child letter #2.

For what it's worth, your wife did the right thing in telling you the truth. So many spouses hide the truth from their partner and either never reveal the truth or do reveal it years hence. She on the other hand, decided to come clean before the baby is born and give you the opportunity to decide whether you want to remain married to her or not. So please do take this into consideration when you are deciding which road to take.

Good luck.

One Ton,

I'd strongly urge you to start counseling with Steve or Jenn Harley, through the phone counseling here at Marriagebuilders (appts are at 888-639-1639). This is obviously a very serious situation, and you need to have a professional help you with advice in formulating a plan that you and your wife can live with.

OneTon,

Well, the best advice I can offer right now is that if you both still want to rebuild your M, and you are willing to raise this child as your own, concentrate on the M right now! Like K and Coffeeman both stated, get into counseling! Work on your relationship with eachother before the baby arrives! And, when the baby does arrive, if you absolutely have to know, get a DNA test done! We have never had a test done, as xOM is not in the picture, and hasn't been, since D-day! He never even knew about the pregnancy, let alone Abbi. My H is her Daddy in EVERY way that counts, and that's what matters!

I wish that I had more to offer, and hope that I helped, even a little.

Tigger