</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dear amethyst03
How is your H taking it,I just want to know because my W for 3 years just told me that the baby she is 4 month pregnant for is not mine.
I dont know what to do we did not talk much about it because I'm still trying to not believe it.One thing we did talk about is the OM and if he know anything about she being pregnant for him.She says that she can not get in touch with him because he has changed his #.

We been to a MC and when she found out she was pregnant I asked her if it was mine and in front of the MC she said yes for sure, but 2 month later she calls me and tells me this child that will be our first is not mine.

I talked to friends and family and both had different opinions on this subject,but I dont want to take any advice till my head is alright.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">sorry that you're here one ton, but you've come to the right place. i'm quite new here and (as you can see by my sig line) pretty young... infact i think i might be the youngest one here - at least that i've seen so far. but i'll offer what i can.

i have a few questions first...
how old are you and your w?
how long've you been married?
did she say how she knows the baby's not yours? besides simple "math"... something like that fact that the two of you used protection all the time and she and om didn't. something concrete.
did you know about the A before finding out she was P?
if you did know about the A, and were willing to work on the M, how does this news (if true) change your feelings about the M? do you still want to work on it?
you said you're in mc (or were), is your wife committed to the M?

my h would probably be better able to answer your questions, or at least know better what you're going through. i've been trying to encourage him to read, post, etc.

not knowing how your w feels about all this, all i can really do is tell you how i felt - confused! confused, ashamed, guilty, depressed, afraid... the list goes on! being pregnant for the first time is scary enough even when it's totally planned and everyone's really excited about it.

as for taking advice from people and making any big decisions at this point, i'd definitely say wait. if you go back and read my very first post, i got some really great advice from some of the veterans here, most importantly to try to relax and wait til everyone's emotions are a bit more under control.

feel free to ask anything else. there're others here who can likely give you better advice than me - some of the men who've been in your shoes. if you start another thread, address it to bh's and some of them may respond.

keep reading stuff on this site, buy the book "surviving an affair" if you can.

amy

Amethyst03

Me-26/W-25 ,We been M for 3 years now and how my W knows this baby is not for me is because we always used protection.

She said she only sleeped with the OM 3 time, 1 time in aug/02 another sept/02 and the last and worst time in oct/02 (the whole weekend). She told me thay did not use protection at all from what she can remember(she said she was drunk all three times) ya right how do you drink so much where you can not remember.

The math: her + doctor + her mother,my mother,her female friends with children = The five day I was out of town for a fishing tournamet,(I just sold my offshore boat in jan). I sold my boat because I want to show her that I want our M to work and I will stop doing tourmanet to be with her.

I knew about the aug and sept A,but did not know about the oct A until she told me that the baby is not mine.

Ifyour H can help with his felling by helping me that would be great,because non of my friends or anyone I know has been throw this.