<small>[ February 26, 2003, 06:03 AM: Message edited by: Firecracker1 ]</small>

Firecracker,

Yes and No to did you do the right thing. Yes the OW needs to know medical/mental background for raising OC. No in that the tone of your post sounded harsh almost vendictive in nature (or it could just be me, only you know the tone of your phone call). Anyway, the information is required to raise the child.

Scott

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well the OW finally had her baby. Guess what H sneeked off to be with her. He told me the reason why he did this was because he knew I would be mad. He says he still has no feelings for her just feels sorry for her. But I keep telling him she mad the dicision to have this kid, and she wants it so why feel sorry for her. H told her he wanted a Paternity test done soon. That he wanted visition rights etc.

But there is one problem. I found the paper from the hospital lost it, and called the OW at the hospital. Told her everything I could tell about my H. How he has alot of mental conditions that I am aware of, plus he was on drugs when he had the A with her. I suggested she get this kid tested immediatly. As for our son committed suicide with the same mental condition as my h.

What scares me is if I leave right know he would commit suicide also, been hospitilzed twice for it. Our older son, doesn't want me to leave for that reason. He doesn't want to go thru the pain again.

Did I do the right thing? Did I have the right to tell all to her? I guess I am just trying to save another child's life. But yes would love to be involved with the child myself with my H. Maybe if he is around this child he will see he needs to get help.

Thanks so much
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 16 | Registered: Nov 2002 | IP: Logged |

decision made
Junior Member
Member # 23221

posted February 21, 2003 01:52 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2002 | IP: Logged |

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your giving mixed signals and I am sure the ow woman senses that as well, You called the hospital out of anger and reacted out of anger not concern for a child and she knows this too. I think the most you have done is convince her you and your husband may not be good for her child.
perhaps waiting till you were calm and sounds to me you wanted to scare her and maybe you have but for what purpose

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

<small>[ February 26, 2003, 06:04 AM: Message edited by: Firecracker1 ]</small>

Firecracker,

I think that you guys are doing the right thing by talking to a lawyer about the DNA testing, BUT, I wouldn't have H sign ANYTHING until xOW asks for DNA testing! And, wait till the results come back with the proof of paternity! It always pays to be safe, and if she claims to not want the testing before your H signs away his paternity rights, DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Wait till there's absolute proof before you sign! The reason I am saying this is I know of at least 2 here who were paying CS for over a year, and when the DNA was finally done, low and behold the xOW was the wolf in sheeps clothing! Now, they didn't have a formal CS agreement, had kept it out of the courts, so they no longer have to pay. But, if you have it through the courts, and DNA comes back later as not your H's child, he may still have to pay, as he was paying before w/out "complaint"! If she's going to "protect" herself, then you guys do the same! I wouldn't do anything further to complicate things. If she insists on your H signing away his paternal rights, tell her you want a DNA test first!

JMHO

Tigger

<small>[ February 26, 2003, 06:05 AM: Message edited by: Firecracker1 ]</small>

You said there was no proof that you that your husband uses drugs, so I am a little confused as to why you would tell people he does, I am sure that would be a big love buster. I understand your concern for his health and factors involved , I just feel it isnt your place to bring all this to a woman in the hospital who just had a baby, thats all.

I am sorry things are so hard for you right now, I do hope you work something out. I agree with every one dna very important, dont do a thing with out it.