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Joined: Oct 2001
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Ok, we've officially gained membership to the "get out of jail free" club!

The catch is this....dh is thinking about filing a law suit against x-ow for telling everybody (LOTS of people) that oc was his when she knew all along that there was at least the possiblity that oc was someone else's.

I'm pretty upset that this woman (using the term loosely) not only had sex with my husband, but for 5 1/2 years told so many people that the child was my dh's. Not to mention she had my dh's aunt babysit this child for all these years.

Now, for some reason, (maybe because I'm pregnant and she knows that she didn't ruin our marriage) she's decided to say that the boy isn't my husband's. BUT she's *still* going to be involved somehow in our life because BIL (the dad) is going to try to get full custody etc. so that he doesn't have to pay as much money. PLUS, she's actually asking for back child support!!! Does she think that she deserves to be compensated for the years that she was claiming that oc was my husband's? Should she be compensated for the day that my son learned that his daddy had sex with another woman and had a child? UGGGGG!!!!!

Obviously, I am angry and so is dh. It is in my opinion that we should just be done with her. She's taken up too much of our life and energy. We wouldn't gain anything monetarily by suing, just making a point.

I remember that someone else sued. Can anyone tell me about it?

Joined: May 2001
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^^bump^^

and a question... Would the charges be defamation of character? Have you pursued anything?

Someone might question how xOW's word was accepted for 5 years without a paternity test before allowing your lives to be so intertwined... Is the aunt now the grandma of the OC?

Any news to report?

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I dont think you can fault ow for not taking responsibility for your husbands lack of intrest in dna, A judge is going to wonder why he did nothing.. he is also going to say he obviously thought he could be the father so why didnt he make sure before he did any thing...
I think all parties were negligent in this matter.. but I dont think you can do any thing about it.. in fact in some places if your hubby had played father and then found out he wasnt the father, they could make him continue being responsible for the said child.
consider it a blessing and let go, move on I think he would be fighting a losing battle.

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BTDT, Thanks for the bump. I really don't know what the charges would be. Slander? I really have no idea. Defamation of character? Well, he kind of did that one on his own, huh?

The aunt is still the great-aunt. But now dh and I are the x-oc's aunt and uncle. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Mom of Five, I see your point. I will have to point this out to my husband. He never took any responsibility for the boy at any time. We've never even seen him.

I think that my dh is probably just pretty angry too. This woman had him thinking that he was the father for so long. (She said that there was NOBODY else that could be the donor.) She had some sort of control over him in a sense. For the past 1 1/2, she had power over both of us and our family. We didn't know if we'd move or if we could out of state, we didn't know if our marriage and family would stay intact, etc. He never would've admitted an affair to me if it weren't for me bringing up the oc and a DNA test. I think that he's felt powerless for so long and he hated that. Now, he wants to pay her back somehow or feel powerful in someway.

I think that one of the reasons that dh never had a DNA test done was because then the possibility would be greater that I would find out. He didn't want an oc and probably figured if he didn't think about it, it would go away?

We didn't have a DNA test done 1 1/2 ago because his brother wouldn't take one. From what I've read, the two could be very close in DNA results. So, even though x-ow and dh agreed to test, we didn't do it without my dh's brother.

Back in January, x-ow asked my BIL if he'd take a private test and he said no. So, she went thru the system, put my BIL's name first and dh's 2nd as alleged father's. BIL came up 99.99% and tried to contest it. So, BIL had his chance to do it privately and screwed it up, I guess. I don't feel sorry for him.

Anyways, I think that a lawsuit would be non-productive. I just hope that she's embarrassed and tells all the people that she told in the beginning that she was wrong and lied! I figure that she'll get hers someday.

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Very good.

Well, it worked out for you in the long run and that's what counts the most. xOW and OC are not your problem(s) anymore...

Being angry with her only continues giving her power to control your lives.

She sounds like a space case to me... Congratulations on your recovery. You guys have survived much! May it continue! (((HUGS)))

(LIGHTBULB MOMENT)

Something else dawned on me, since xOW was wanting your husband to be the father of her OC so badly, it must mean that you have the better brother!!! Not saying anything against your BIL, but meaning it as a compliment to YOU!

When xOW listed BIL's name first on the court papers--Hmmmm! That pretty much said it all, huh???

<small>[ March 27, 2003, 12:56 PM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

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btdt,

yes, it did work out for us in the end and I am sooo thankful for that! We need to let this go. I need to quit asking "why" and he needs to quit the revenge idea, although I can certainly understand it!

Your lightbulb moment made me laugh!!! It's kind of a joke between my best friend and I how we ended up with the "good" brother's!(different families) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> You are right though, I did.

Get this, my dh has twin brother's. One of them has 4 children (all different mama's) that he pays for. (we've heard rumor's that there are more) The other one has 3 (now including our x-oc) and pays for 2. The one that he doesn't pay for is with a married woman. My dh has 2 children, one on the way, with his wife. Yes, his dad has cheated. It just goes to show you that this can really run in families. That scares me very much as I will have 3 boys.

Thanks for your support <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


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