Hi there,

YES IT IS POSSIBLE AT YOUR AGE!!!! YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE SO OLD, GEES, AND YOU'RE NOT!!!

Finding a good singles group would help. Just so you can meet other singles/divorcess, and I'm sure there will be a variety of ages there. I think it would be great for you. The groups have many outings, such as picnics, hikes, dinners, lots of stuff.

Sent with Love, -Ladysheep

Finding a good singles group would help. Just so you can meet other singles/divorcess,
But she is not single or divorced yet. So you should not act single or date until a divorce is comlplete (not just filed.)

Well, who knows what the future holds. I'm sure God has something in mind.
So, I'll have to take this step first.
rkinney1

I know...believe me Chris, I'm not ready and divorce is very painful. All in
due time. First things first. I haven't crossed any "goals" yet.
Thanks for being concerned, I won't do a "wrong" move.
rkinney1

Hi,
I didn't mean that she would find someone else right now. All I meant is that it would be a nice place to meet people.
I would never go out with someone until divorced, but friendships are alright.
I met my husband at a support group, and we were friends 3 yrs before marrying. We didn't even kiss until right before we got married. We became best of friends first.
So that's really all I'm saying is to find a place where friendships can be made.

rkinney, all I'm saying is you are not to old for a future relationship with a man. I wouldn't dare think you are ready now, when a divorce hasn't happened. But it doesn't hurt to
get out and join some groups where you can meet people. I think you didn't even "LIVE" when you were with your husband. Now you can "LIVE", and have some fun in life!!!!
I just want it to be very exciting for you because you truly deserve to be happy!!!!

Sent with Love, -Ladysheep

It's so nice to hear someone say that they wish me a better life. I hope I get it.
Will be sorta of hard, to make all the "right" decisions.
Take care, and God Bless!!!

Hi Again,

Yes, I know it's not easy, and God will help you.
I know you ask for His leading all the time.
His plans for you are good and to give you a future and hope!! No, you may not always make the right decisions, and you are not going to always make perfect decisions, but the good thing is you are making progress!!!!

I hope Chris's comment didn't discourage you, because you seemed down after that.

You haven't had a marriage for a long time. Even going to singles/divorcee groups isn't just
for people looking for a man/woman, but for support and friendships, and just to do fun things with. "LIVING"
And they are not just for single/divorcees, but can be for people going through divorce too.

Don't let anyone tie you up any more!!!!!

And you are right "one step at a time" and "one day at a time."

God Bless you!!!

Sent with Love, -Ladysheep

This week past, alot has happened. My husband
finally gave me his cell phone number. I looked
up his account on the internet, and he's calling at least three other women,along with the one he had his affair with. I'm tired of crying, praying he would reconcile, give up his "habits". So,
yesterday, I filed for divorce. I cried all the way home, and that's not unusual for me. I'm asking the courts for the moon, and hope I get the stars. Can't do it anymore, I'm worn out.
rkinney1

Oh no rkinney, that's terrible. I feel so sad for you. What you feared the most, you just found out. The good thing is, is that you did
find out, and he can't lie and get away with
it any more. At this point, I don't blame you
for seeking divorce, but I know how hurt you must
feel having to make that decision based on
his actions.

You have tried rkinney, you have tried to trust and believe a liar and cheater. It's the worst
kind of betrayal when it's done by your own
husband. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I hope you get the stars too in court.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Thank you for your support, I so desparately wanted things to work out.
Our court date is July 9th, for the abuse. We'll see how "supportive" a court
can be when someone is abusive to someone else.
My heart overflows with sadness.
Take care,
rkinney1

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> So, I guess I'll have to file for divorce, and try to move on </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope you go through with this. From my experiences he will never change. It may be the wrong advice but that is just how I feel about abuse.

I have posted a few things regarding this subject because it turns my stomach for anyone to have to go through this. And every time I read something like your story I just want to scream and cry.

You need to let go, find the person you lost in yourself, rebuild your strength and your love in yourself. You are better than what you have been receiving as in treatment from your H.

I have read all that you have said on this theme and I reach out to you and completely understand your pain. From what you wrote reminds me of my Ex H with the computer in putting an ad out and such and the abusive ways he was towards me. I am no longer with him and I feel for anyone that gets with him.

My prayers and thoughts go out your way and I hope you make the right decision and don't feel like you need to stay if you feel you will never be treated right or be happy with the situation when it comes to abuse.

Good Luck and I hope to hear something soon in here that your doing better and rebuilding your life for yourself.

I went to court yesterday, my H received 5 years probation, two of which will be supervised.
Also, he has to go to a Intervention Abuse Program. My attorney had him served with the
divorce papers yesterday. Most of the afternoon, I cried because I think it's a very
sad thing to have to do., end a marriage. But, with not having faith in him anymore,
I know it was the best decision, and I had to do it. And, once I am "officially" divorced"
I will remove my rings from my left hand, and try to work on "being single" again.
All of you have been so kind, thank you once again for your support.
rkinney1

Now that you have filed you will soon be on the road to recovery from an abusive marriage. I do hope he stays away. If he is the type that you think will continue to bother you I would get a restraining order on him. I know it doesn't do a whole lot because a person is going to do what they want to do without anything stopping them.

As I said before my Ex H was similar to yours. He stalked me afterwards and even came into my house while I was asleep. I woke up with the feeling of someone watching me and when I opened my eyes I seen someone laying next to me leaning with their head on their hand. I instantly started screaming, kicking and hitting. When I realized who it was I was even more scared. I was able to get him out and should have called the police then but stupid me I didn't. He watched my work, watched the house, stalked me on the computer leaving threats and followed me even when I moved out of the town.

So be careful and I wish you lots of luck and send you lots of prayers. Keep us posted how your doing.

((((Hugs))))

I'm going through with the divorce, and it seems to be the hardest thing I've ever done.
I know he's living with the ow, and it's killing me. Maybe, it makes me feel as though
I'm not "worthy" of a "relationship", and marriage vows are "wrong". I guess it's
just the "hurt" still tugging ay my heartstring. I thought marriage was based on
far more than "sex", but respect, committment, faith, trust, love.
But, to forget him, that will take a long, long time.
rkinney

Hi there,

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I understand you are still going through a lot of pain, hurt, betrayal. Remember, some do keep their vows, unfortunately your husband didn't.
Don't blame yourself. It's going to take time to heal. Don't let the divorce and him take power over you making you think you are unworthy, because that is not true. In fact this divorce is going to be a way for you, to freedom from his abuse, and infidelity.

Did you decide if you are going to move close to your family?

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Not sure as to where I am "going". In my divorce papers, I asked for the MOON,
and I hope to get the stars. My counselor says I'm doing great, and once the "emotional"
phase takes "control", that the "healing" process will be next. Had a disagreement with my daughter, because she is allowing him to see my grandchild. She said he was in her life for 8 years, and she doesn't want my grandchild to be in this. I feel, since he is not the "natural"
grandfather, he has no right, and she will get hurt, more than she is now. She (my granddaughter) keeps
hoping we get back together, even though she knows he has not done any "right" moves
since his release on April 9th. He's living with the OW, and is now shutting off my
phone, cable, (gas and electric next). All of that was in his name. Guess, I'd feel a little
better, if I had a companion, but, I don't even know "how to" be out there in the world again.
Thanks for llistening, it's nice to have all of you.
rkinney1

I guess what really bothers me is that he never even asked me for a "second" chance,
never even tried to correct all the "wrong".
Not that I a second chance could have happened, but he makes me feel like he would never, ever want to "renew" his relationship with me, and I wasn't even the blame. Does that
sound crazy or what???
rkinney1

Hi rkinney,

I think he is very selfish and doesn't want the help he needs. He is in a "big fog" I hope he wakes up one day and says to himself "What have I done?" He is just one of them types that gives up and moves on to the next. He lives dangerously, and he can move, but like I always say "His heart will always be where he is, no matter where he goes." So he will treat the next W the same after a while. You know he has to feel miserable, and he is only living with the OW because he has no where else to go. Basically I think he is taking advantage of her too. He probably is a smooth talker, but in time the OW will see him for what he really is also.

As for you, in time you will be healed. I know you think about having another companion someday, and if it is possible. It is, but you need to heal and be divorced first. Believe me I think you are going to come out a very strong woman from this. And you will begin to have the confidence again.

And your grandchild, I just hope you daughter never leaves her alone with him. That would make me uncomfortable too.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

I know he's with her because he has no one else, it still hurts to know he never even
thought of "working" on us. The OW is as my daughter described is a "skanky" looking woman. and you can tell she's been around the block, and a "bar-hopper". So, for her to get tired
of him, or figure him out, I doubt it. She is just in "awe" right now, and hopefully someday
grows tired of him. I too worry about my grandchild, hate to see her go through the hurt.
And, I always wonder, if he'll ever realize that he made the biggest mistake in his life.
rkinney1

Hi rkinney1,

I know it's hard to understand the "why's???"
He is in denial, "the big fog." He may already know he's made the biggest mistake, but he's to prideful to admit it to you.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep