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You're probably right, and I hope it will get easier. Gosh, I cry all the time.
He told my daughter that he wants to take my granddaughter to his girlfriends
place, she has a step daughter that he wants her to meet. I crush because my daughter allows
the relationship to continue, I wish she was more supportive. And, I feel bad because I haven't
been a "good" grandmother since all of this. I keep running off on weekends to be
with family and old friends, hoping I can "adjust". But, on my way home, I cry all
the while. I wish I could get back in the swing, and participate with doing things with
my granddaughter.
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Hi rkinney,
Are you there? How are you doing? Have you gone to a Dr.? Divorce is one of the most
depressing things a person can go through.
I'm wondering it an antidepressant may help.
What do you think?
Sent with Love, Ladysheep
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Hi Ladysheep,
Yes, I've seen a Dr., taking medication for depression, and sleep.
Still waiting for court date on 7/29/03, since he was not "represented" last week.
It is very hard, but, I'm not so sure I like taking the medicine either. Maybe once the
divorce case is signed, I'll ask the Dr. if she can "lower" the mg's. I keep thinking
that he could find a way to get in touch with me, want to make things right, but then,
I realize it would never be the same for either of us. I'm still going to counseling,
and she wrote a letter stating how "traumitized" and "emotional" this is for me.
I'm really hoping he doesn't come back to visit my grandchild either, it's been hard
enough on her. Thanks for being a great listener, and friend.
rkinney1
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Hi rkinney,
I didn't like the idea of having to takes meds
either. I had a hard time even admitting I was
depressed, even though I felt terrible. Couldn't
eat, sleep, anger, blame. Couldn't be motivated
to do a whole lot. Felt paralyzed a lot.
Sometimes I still do, during times of stress,
and disappointment.
I know this has taken a big toll on you, but
I'm glad you are getting out and visiting.
In time you will feel emotionally healthier,
and more yourself again. It really does take
time. Treat yourself to good things, as good
as you can right now. Maybe spending time with
your grand-daughter would help you up some.
Sometimes spending time with little ones is so
therapuetic for me.
Do you think that's possible?
Sent with Love, Ladysheep
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Hi Ladysheep,
I did take my daughter, and two grandchildren out Wed. for pizza. They were good
children, and I felt that I should enjoy them while I can for someday, they will be
on their own too. I do go to my family almost every weekend, saying to myself that
I deserve to "get away" because I worked all week. Slowly time goes by, and I'm
not sure if "lonliness" ever disappears, especially at night. I pray for a new companion,
and keep in mind what I've been told, find someone who deserves me. I hope all
works out for you too, you seems to be a very giving, caring person.Have a
wonderful weekend!! I have LOTS of yardwork!!
rkinney1
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Finally had a court date. H now has to pay for 1 year mortgage, 2nd mortgage, and time share. No contact, from either is allowed. He wanted some tools, and his weight bench. I gave him his weight bench, a screwdrive, wrench, and one of the "whips" he had hidden for his OW. Hurts to know it's over, and have to remember I am better off.
rkinney
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Hi rkinney,
I know it hurts so much.
So is everything final now?
You really are better off now, even though
it doesn't lessen the pain, it will lessen
in time.
Time to start a new life!!
Sent with Love, Ladysheep
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Hi Ladysheep,
No, it's not over yet. He has sent a "response" for the divorce, but, I don't know what
he wants to settle for. And, I know you're right, that I'm better off. Starting a new life
will take time for me, I'm too afraid.Wonder what happened to Chris???
Sometimes, I just wish I could disappear.
Have a good weekend,
Rkiney1
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I hope you have a good weekend too.
I feel your saddness, and hope the fear
goes away.
I haven't seen Chris around at all. Don't
know what happened to him.
Are you going to any group meetings at all.
Sometimes they help too.
Sent with Love, Ladysheep
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My counselor recommended a group meeting. I might go to one, just to see if I "fit".
Going to my friends this weekend, hoping I'll stop thinking of H. Thanks for being here
for me. Hope Chris' okay.
rkinney1
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Hey LAADDIIESS!
Haven't been over in this forum lately.
My attorney had him served with the
divorce papers yesterday. Most of the afternoon, I cried because I think it's a very
sad thing to have to do., end a marriage. But, with not having faith in him anymore,
I know it was the best decision
Of course it's not an easy thing to do, even if it is the "best" course of action.
Maybe, it makes me feel as though
I'm not "worthy" of a "relationship"
Yeah, it gets you down and you start to think all kinds of things like this. It's part of the process and it IS as good thing as it causes you to look at yourself and actions you have taken and the reasons behind them.
and marriage vows are "wrong".
I hope you realize they aren't wrong and that it is just your "thoughts."
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Hey Chris, nice to hear from you again. You're right, it's the better thing (the divorce).
But, it sometimes makes me feel like I'm incapable of "pleasing" a mate. Knowing
of the adultery too. I do believe in those "marriage vows", it was just a "thought"
going through my head. I keep going "in and out" of depression, and for some crazy
reason this past weekend, I realized, I couldn't have made that marriage work, no
matter what. He did too much, and has no "remorse". In marriage they say for
better or worse, but, he totally ruined our marriage, and disrespected those vows.
rkinney1
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