</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> the whole trouble with her handleing this is the same as when her a started. she kept saying that she could control herself and it was just a friendship. well she couldn't and it wasn't. now she wants to do what She thinks is best whether i agree or not. No poja!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pops it sounds like you are letting fh do whatever she wants with respect to having contact with OM because of Grace. Forgive me but this is something that should not be and unless you make it an issue that isn't going to go away, the stage is being set for a repeat performance of her A with OM.

If the roles were reversed, would fh tolerate this situation?

<small>[ April 04, 2003, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

pops, I agree.

You said in another post, "...knowing OM would be reluctant to make contact with me if he had to do so in order to see grace." This makes me think his interest is not in grace, but in your wife. Are they really interested in Grace, or each other? If I were in yours shoes, it is a tough call. But you are speaking about the next 18 years, or a lifetime. How many years will your W still have contact with the OM? How many more years could you possibly stand it?

I think only you should ever have contact with the OM or his W. If they really love grace, your wife does not need to be a part of their relationship with grace. After all, you are the father raising her.

This is only my opinion pops. I am praying that you find an answer soon that you can live with. I found life's too short. You can't stay in limbo forever.

ember

cm,,,,,, i agree that i am probably allowing her to much freedom in this matter but you must understand my personality. this will probably sound cold to some but i will not stand for a second her giving a repeat perfomance here. i will not follow her or check on her all the time as before when she was in her ea. she can have all the rope she needs to hang herself if she so chooses. she understands that is who i am and that if i even get an inkling she is going down that road again, she's gone.

ember,,,,,

__________________________________________________

I think only you should ever have contact with the OM or his W. If they really love grace, your wife does not need to be a part of their relationship with grace. After all, you are the father raising her.
__________________________________________________
thank you for finding the words to express exactly my thoughts on the situation. this has nothing to do with being civil when grace is around us all. fh should simply have very limited contact with om and his family. period.

well i'm gonna start enjoying another super soutern california weekend. hope everyone does the same wherever you are. pops

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by pops:
<strong>cm,,,,,, i agree that i am probably allowing her to much freedom in this matter but you must understand my personality. this will probably sound cold to some but i will not stand for a second her giving a repeat perfomance here. i will not follow her or check on her all the time as before when she was in her ea. she can have all the rope she needs to hang herself if she so chooses. she understands that is who i am and that if i even get an inkling she is going down that road again, she's gone.

ember,,,,,

__________________________________________________

I think only you should ever have contact with the OM or his W. If they really love grace, your wife does not need to be a part of their relationship with grace. After all, you are the father raising her.
__________________________________________________
thank you for finding the words to express exactly my thoughts on the situation. this has nothing to do with being civil when grace is around us all. fh should simply have very limited contact with om and his family. period.

well i'm gonna start enjoying another super soutern california weekend. hope everyone does the same wherever you are. pops</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

I did not post the above post. I do not even know how to make letters big. Why would someone be this cruel when I am posting to pops?

ember