Hello everyone,
I need help in finding out about a few things concerning OC.First of all I know every state must be different but please can someone guide me in a dirction or possibly know the answers to some questions I have? I looked at many post and haven't seen any talk of this subject.As for all of us with OC or possible OC , what rights does the OW have as far as the baby's last name? Can she just give the MM last name? Is there anything the MM can do to stop that?? And what about the birth certificate? Can the OW just put MM name on it?? And again who's last name does the baby get on the Birth certifate??? Once DNA has been proven can that matter at all if she can legally use his last name for baby or not. Please let me know of your sitution as far as all this goes.I just want to know what rights she has and what I can stop legally? I just have to know,she is a resident of PA.Any info will be greatly accepted.If there's any agentcy I can call.Has any of this been a problem for anoyone????

Thank you all
Jill

Jill: Let me tell you what our lawyer told us. I would put a call out to cdcollins and maybe she can help you more.

Any woman (ow or even you) can put a child's name to be anything. you don't have to use any particular sur name for the child. For instance if I want to have a child and my last name is Jones - I can put baby Wilson down as the name. The name is the right of the mother.
So, she can name the oc now or later (after dna) with mm's last name....it's her right.

Our xow put her name down as possible oc's last name and in the court documents she is requesting to keep it that way.

as far as the birth certicate - The courts can and most likely do make the birth certificate reflect the father's name after dna is proven.

I still have no clue as to how it works on putting people on the birth certificate. I mean, it seems to me that the state of FL is really wishy washy on this one. I wonder if I could put God down as the father and they'd let the birth certificate be issued as that. Can't answer that one for ya, sorry.

Have you tried a free lawyer consultation regarding this information? It might help for your particular state.

good luck!

Yes I do know in the state of FL.OW can give OC MM first middle and last name. OW in my case gave her daughter my H first middle and last name. She just spelled it differently. The bytch she did this to purposely hurt me and it did.

<small>[ April 13, 2003, 01:36 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Hello,in the state of MO, the OW can give OC any name she wants,but on the birth certificate, she can not put my H as the father, unless he signed papers stating he is the father when the OC was born.After DNA testing, he can get his name on as the father if wants, and that needs to be done thru the Department of Vital Statistics.So check with them, located in the state capital city. In my case ,OW put last name as H's,to let everyone know who the daddy was,and try to embarasse my H and I at our place of work (we work for the same company).It didn't work it only proved how big of S--t she is,and really, really stupid. She is walking on thin ice, if she keeps talking about it at work, she can and will get terminated.So everything has backed fired for her, she has my husband's child but she doesn't have MY HUSBAND!

That's what I'm talking about, how our stories are very simular.Read longing2hold post am I the only one.

Jill,
Every state is differnt. From my research OW here in Wisconsin she can put any last name she wants. However, she can't put my H has the father unless he signed stating he is father. I know on OC birth's certificate it says that the father is unknown.

Dawn

In NY (where I live) you can name a child anything you want (first, middle and last). If you are married the father is automatically listed as your husband (reguardless of weather he is the biological father or not).

If you are unmarried then the father space is life blank unless someone signs an affadavit acknowledging paternity. ANY MAN can sign the document and accept responsibility for the child.

If paternity has not been established then you may do so through the courts. If DNA shows a man to have fathered a child then an order of filiation is made through the courts. This essentially means that the bio father is responsible for the child. He has certain rights and responsibilities as the bio father.

Once the order of filiation is entered then the childs name may be changed to the father's last name if it wasn't already. This is done at the discression of the parents.

Thank you all who helped give me some insight,it seems that the woman has right to name baby whatever she wants, but can't on birth certificate.I've tried looking some of this up on line but didn't find what I needed. The state I'm interested in is pennsylvannia,what offices can I call to ask questions about this?????

thanks again
Jill

I actually found out all that I needed to know from the hospital where my son was born. Tyr that.

Or the county clerks office.

Good luck!

Hi...my OW is from PA. I got papers in the mail after the birth (discovery of affair) and there is a copy of the birth certificate from the Commonwealth of PA/Department of Health with a seal. I take it this a copy of the legal birth certificate. The child was given my H's last name. No, he was not asked, she just did it.
My H did sign a paper called an "Acknowledgement of Paternity", signed about 2 weeks after the babys birth, and about 5 months later the DNA was done at my insistance.
Hope this helped...
NGU

yes the mother can put any name she wants on the birth certificate and for the baby. my child carries pops last name, because he wanted it that way and we also agreed it would be good that she had the last name the same as her siblings. the birth certificate i left blank for the father, i wouldnt put pops down cause that would have been a lie, but i also didnt put the om name down because pops would be hurt. but my sister had a child (she was not married and either was he) and named it her last name and put the fathers name down with no problem, he didnt sign anything. no questions asked.
i recently went to court about child support, and the om mentioned to the da if he was going to pay child support he wanted the child to have his last name. the da said he couldnt do anything about that, he probably would have to see a lawyer, but i dont think he has the legal right to change her name anyway. he can with my permission and because the dna came back that he is the father add his name to the birth certificate but i heard that that could be a costly process, or just not an easy thing to do once the birth certificate is filed.
fullhouse

http://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/childsupport/pgm/asp/index.asp

http://webserver.health.state.pa.us/health/cwp/view.asp?a=168&Q=202212#AP

As a result of Act 1997-58 that became effective January 1, 1998, a father cannot be listed on the birth record of a child born to an unmarried woman unless an Acknowledgment of Paternity has been filed with the Department of Public Welfare or there has been a court determination of paternity. If the parents wish to file an Acknowledgment of Paternity to list the father, it will be necessary to contact the Department of Public Welfare, Bureau of Child Support Enforcement at 800-932-0211, for forms and instructions. If both parents are unable to file an Acknowledgment of Paternity to list the father, a certified court order that establishes paternity, i.e. a Waiver of Trial, Support Order, or Custody Order should be obtained through their local Domestic Relations office.

If you have filed an Acknowledgment of Paternity for a child born after January 1, 1998

The Department of Public Welfare will notify Vital Records that an Acknowledgment of Paternity has been filed. The Division of Vital Records will then add the father’s name to the child’s birth record. At that time, the Division of Vital Records will issue a certified copy listing both parents’ names at no charge. Please click here for information on how to apply for an additional certified copy of the birth record.

If you have filed an Acknowledgment of Paternity for a child born prior to 1998

It is the responsibility of the parents to notify the Division of Vital Records approximately eight weeks after they have filed the Acknowledgment of Paternity if they wish to amend the paternity item on the child’s birth record. Please click here for information on contacting the Division of Vital Records. The Division of Vital Records will verify the Acknowledgment of Paternity is on file and amend the paternity section on the child’s birth record, if necessary. If you have previously returned an incorrect Certification of Birth or submitted a $4.00 fee, you will receive a corrected birth record listing both parents’ names. If you have not, please click here for information on how to apply for a certified copy of the birth record.

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once again, thank you all for helping me out .all is info has done me some good!!!!

Not giving up,
How is everything going? So the oc was born in between your two kids? have you and your H both decided No contact? My Ow is from PA and the Possible oc is almost 3 months but we have not heard anything from her! Maybe it's a blessing in disquise.So how did you get your dna test? thru the courts? Did your husband have to pay??? Do you in the same town? How are you dealing with it all?? somedays i'm so much better and stong, but other days I still can't believe this is happening to me, it's like that bad dream,that just won't go away.
Jill

Hi there...I am tired and having some REALLY bad nights here...
I do not post often b/c we do not have contact and rarely hear from her at all but for an address change or the like...I figure all I do is whine about how stuck I am so why bother...I am just emotionally drained. So I guess that answers your first question of how everything is going...
Anyway, when I saw your post and felt that since the OW is from PA it may help if I answer. Here are the answers to the other questions you posted...
The OC was born inbetween my 2nd and 3rd child. I was 5 months pg with my 3rd when I learned of the OW and OC. The OC was 2 months old. She had sent the court papers for child support and paternity to our home. I signed for them.
My H decided no contact. He asked for my opinion and I was hesitant to give it to him and when he said he needed it I was careful as to let him know that it was up to him. I told him that in 20 years I did not want to be told he did it for me. I was also careful in what I said to him.
My H got the DNA test off the internet. They both got cheek swab packages and instructions and in 2 weeks we were sent the results. It was like d-day all over again, even though he said he knew it was his. We had to pay for it. It was 400$.
We pay support but no contact. She was in a different state, even during the affair (my H travels for business). We were in NJ we have since moved to NC. It was a decision we made together. I had waited about 8 years to move south, but I will not lie, I was also relieved to get further away from the situation.

And now the big one, and one I probably can't answer right now...How do I deal with it...Man if I could give some advice I would. I am probably not the best person for that. See, I don't want to discourage. It has been 2 1/2 years for me, 3 years since the affair ended, and the same thoughts that ran thru my head back then are still there and just as raw.
I have been in therapy, to Retrouvaille, talked to friends, family. My support network is very big. We are trying to reconcile but with his constant traveling it is hard. He is gone from Mon till Fri so we only have the weekends. I am focusing on some wrong things and trying to find the time to work on the right things. I like you find that I often have these "pinch me" moments. This whole week I have been pinched so many times I am bruising.
But I love him, always have. It is just that I told him, as I am sure all of us have, that I wouldn't tolerate cheating. I had it happen in the past, and barely survived it. He knew about it and he did it anyway. And I am beginning to think that that is most of the problem.
As for the child. I do not think much about it, but I think that is b/c my head is swimming about so many other things. I get a pain so hard in the stomach when I do that I think I have developed a way to block the thoughts when they come but at times I don't succeed and the tears come. That has been this week.
It is not all bad. I love him and we have good times, and I think that we will make it. At least I am hoping. When we are together it feels so natural. I just wish he didn't have to cause so much pain and turmoil to realize that I loved him. And I am sorry all, but I wish, ah well, forget it...

I hope this helped. If you have any other questions just let me know. I will answer anything you need. I hope you have a wonderful holiday. We are getting together with my best friend from HS who moved here 2 years before us (imagine that!) and we spend each Easter together. Then in 3 weeks my oldest has her First Communion. It is a busy few weeks ahead.

Hang in there. These are wonderful bunch of women here. I read everyday, as I have for the past 2 years. They have helped me alot.
NGU

My uncle had a baby by a girl he was not married to. When she checked in the hospital she stated she was married. Listed my brother as her H. Stated that she still used her maiden name. The baby was given his last name AND listed on the BC - w/out his consent. He contacted a lawyer about her doing so under false pretenses. However, the fees would have been too much for him to pursue it.