Hey all - please read my post from before & give me advice - I only got one reply & am still looking for answers.

I am suffocating here - wanting to know what I should do?

THX,

nicwatts

Morning Nic, Sorry you are dealing with this. Maybe the reason some haven't responded is because K gave you some good advice. Usually what you hear from K is very good advice and info.
Personally I would have rather gotten custody of my H's OC then we would have never had to deal with the OW. As it is I cannot complain, we pay cs but have no dealings with OC or OW. We have this because my H chose to do it this way. He said the OW chose to get pregnant to try to get him to commit to her, leaving our marriage. Therefore the child was hers to raise. All he did was basically donate the sperm and pay child support.
I am not totally comfortable with his decision, but I think it was best solution for us.
You have to decide what is best for you and the child, no one else needs to know where she came from. Remember, the child didn't have any choices here either. If you and your H get custody, shoot for adoption, and look at the child as an innocent whoe needs love; don't look back at her conception. She will be a special person who needs love, which as a mother you can probably give her.
As for your H, only you can decide about him. You have to look at his actions, past and present. Then you have to decide if he is worth the gamble.
Good luck. HOpefully others will respond too. Don't be discouraged.

Nic,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">wanting to know what I should do?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again, I think the counseling here at MB would be very good for your situation.

If you're not interested, how about breaking your issues down to what's bothering you the most (and next, and after that), to see if we can't help you come up with a plan. But given your situation, I really advise against a "do-it-yourself" approach without the aid of skilled counselors or coaches.