Anyone else here sad like me bc Ex-WH is having OC with OW when I was wanting to have kids and he wasn't? This mother's day I wanted it to be ME having his baby <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Now I am left wondering if he is doing anything for OW for Mother's day or if he truly is turning to God and truly thinking of me and what might have been? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Dear adgirl,

I can really relate. When my H and I married, we both wanted our circumstances to be perfect before we had a child. We waited and planned. When we were finally ready, I had problems conceiving and carrying. So, we are still trying, but every year that passes it gets harder and harder to deal with.

After being so careFUL with me, my H was so careLESS with the OW. My anger sometimes is two-fold. Because he seemed not to care if SHE got pregnant, and because she got pregnant so easily when I have been doing medication, treatments, tests -- you name it.

I thought this Mother's Day would be different because lately my H and I have been communicating better. But, I still feel those thoughts nagging at the back of my head. It's Mother's Day and he has nothing to celebrate with me, his wife, but he has a child with another woman. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

He buys me cards and gifts every Mother's Day -- sometimes that makes it worse. He says that every woman is a potential mother and one day we will have our children. But, when I knew we were both looking forward to that day, the infertility was easier to bear. It was a problem that we shared. Now, since he has a child, I am the only one left out.

We are not having contact with the OC right now for reasons I won't go into right now. But I also wonder if he at least sent a card from to the OW from the OC. He is a very caring person and he would do something like that because he thinks it is the right thing to do.

The first Mother's Day after the OC was born, he called the OW to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. When I asked him why that was necessary, he told me that he was just being nice after all "she's the mother of my child". That is probably the worst thing my H has ever said to me and it cut straight through my heart. And I think of it every year -- she is the mother of MY husband's child.

Didn't mean to ramble on you, Adgirl. Just wanted you to know that there are other souls out here hurting today and being reminded of what could have been.

What I generally do is let myself grieve a bit for what could have been. I am going to tell my H that I am having those sad, nagging feelings and want to do something with him to make us both happy. I will pray to God for strength to get through this day and I will try to enjoy myself and treat myself really well.

I hope you will do the same Adgirl. You will be in my prayers as well.

best wishes,
marie

"After being so careFUL with me, my H was so careLESS with the OW. My anger sometimes is two-fold. Because he seemed not to care if SHE got pregnant, and because she got pregnant so easily when I have been doing medication, treatments, tests -- you name it."

That is how I feel, only in a different way- we weren't trying because he wasn't ready for the responsibility and I was on the pill, he would get upset with me for "pushing" him about it.

"It's Mother's Day and he has nothing to celebrate with me, his wife, but he has a child with another woman."

Isn't that insane?

"We are not having contact with the OC right now for reasons I won't go into right now. But I also wonder if he at least sent a card from to the OW from the OC. He is a very caring person and he would do something like that because he thinks it is the right thing to do."

I am afraid he will do that, even though he used to not be that caring of a person- but now he is so guilty, it is all misplaced all over the place, and I could see him do it.

"The first Mother's Day after the OC was born, he called the OW to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. When I asked him why that was necessary, he told me that he was just being nice after all "she's the mother of my child". That is probably the worst thing my H has ever said to me and it cut straight through my heart. And I think of it every year -- she is the mother of MY husband's child. "

Oh gosh, that is horrible. I can not even imagine how that made you feel, yet I could see mine saying something outrageous like that too- that is kind of fog talk- what is the dumbest thing WS has ever said -material.......


Thank you for sharing your story with me. While I am sitting here crying for your infertility and your hurt, I am also realizing that I am definitely not the only one hurting, and the pain is very deep for many of us..I will pray for you too and for others like us.
Let's try to MAKE it a great day....

Adgirl

Mother's day blues!! I am feeling for you, my sitution is a bit different, Me and My husband have two children together ,and when I was pregnant with my son now 7 we decided no more kids for a few reasons, but we both agreed,I had some health issues, and I wouldn't want to be changing diapers and all that baby stuff when I was 40. Now to bring you up to date,H had Affair which lead to OW getting pregnant! and the stories and lies that went along with it just devasting H told me he wanted her to abort and told me he would be able to talk her into it, and it tore me apart for letting him think Like that....needless to say it never happened,as I started thinking clearer and asked hundreds of time why it did happen he finally said one day after he moved back in with me that he asked her to keep it! like he didn't do enough damage to us I still remember the day like yesterday even though it isn't quit a year!! so as I read how everyone is doing I realized that I had pre-mothers day blues, day of mothers day blues and now post-mother days blues!!!! The pain is like no other and like many things in life the first anniversary of something really hits home hard!!
And what makes it a little worst then that was last years he stopped by for a few minutes to wish me a happy mothers day and spent the rest of the day with OW!!!! P.S Father's day wasn't any better!

Jill

Jaggerslady,
So how old is the OC now? Have you seen him/her? What involvement does your H have? I am sorry for your pain also. It is rough any way you look at it, when your spouse creates life with someone else. It seems absolutely insane. Making babies should be a beautiful thing....I am not looking forward to Fathers Day either.