So he says, after 1 1/2 years since D day and me allowing this child into my life and becoming attached my H has now decided he wants to be single again, he says he loves me but doesnt want to live with me, he says he wants to be "FREE" well his timing sucks, I am now 6 months pregnant and having to deal with this is really hard, he wanted to leave and come see me whenever he felt he was in the mood to see me and I said no , I cant deal with that if he leaves I want no contact until the baby is born then we decide how to proceed, well he didnt like that, he says he needs to be able to at least see me and talk to me, I said no, it would be to hard on me to do that. I talked to my OB about Anti-Depressants and he prescribed Zoloft to help me through this, my H is still here but I can sense its just a matter of time. SO I am back here for support.

Thanks,
Jessica

Expecting my 1st Baby Boy Sept 7, 2003

Oh My Gosh! I'm sorry this isn't a very marriage-building thing to say, but I feel so pissed for you! Your H seems like an immature and egotistical man! Here you are, a year and half down the recovery road, trying to let HIS OC into YOUR heart, accomodate his issues, 6mo. pregnant yourself, and he wants his "space"?!?! How much "space" does he think YOU have?! I'd like to scream Grow UP at this man! And he just wants to come and go as he pleases?! Give me a break!

I'm sooo sorry for your pain. My DDay came when I was 8mo pregnant, and since we were separated for a time, I had that baby without my H there, so I can kinda relate (although we were still working on recovery)... I hope the Zoloft helps. Please take very good care of yourself during this stressful time, (and I hope my post did not distress you)---walk lots, journal, meditate, nap, drink lotsa water, eat healthy, etc.

God be with you,
J--still floored by human beans.

Dear Jessica,

My heart was going out to you as I read your post. Although our situations are very different, the fact we are due for our baby boys at the same time may be our link. I believe you are correct in telling your husband in so many words that he cannot have it both ways. Maybe just telling him those are the rules will make him think twice, and he won't leave at all. If he does though, perhaps the no contact will help him to wake up and see what he is doing to you and your marriage. At the very least, he will see that you cannot be walked on, and used when and as he wishes. As a WS myself, I think his actions are selfish and his timing does suck! Hopefully though, this time away will be a time when not only him, but YOU can decide what you want and how to proceed from there.

Please, please take care of yourself and your little boy to be!

My prayers are with you,
~aut

Jessica,
Plan B is your only option now.

Do not allow him to dictate your life any longer. Being without him will be better for your mental health for now, and help you to grow stronger while letting him see "life without Jessica."

What a hard thing it is to begin to trust again only to be hit square in the face again!

A session with either of the Harleys' along with your antidepressant medicine will help you as well as faith that God will guide you.

I am always so saddened when I read this type of thing happening again.

Perhaps you H got everything HE wanted while you weren't receiving anything to help YOU recover.

Bless you.

love
Debi