Well, I just discovered my common-law husband cheated on me for 4 months (give or take) and I have chosen to forgive him. We have been together since 1997 and common-law since 2000. We have a 3yr old and another one on the way.

He told me Friday night 2 days after I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child. Apparently, this was the catalyst that made him tell me. He ended the relationship a month and a half ago, and I am 2 months along.

The night he told me of the affair, he told me that he was afraid to lose me, that our family meant everything to him and this child on the way was our chance to start anew.

The next day, he never really talked about marriage much, and I never pressured him about it because we are both children of divorced parents. Now, he wants us to get married and he says that this is his top priority.

My concern is the other woman was waiting in the wings hoping I would leave him. He was at a benefit party for a mutual friend of ours and this other woman got a ticket to go. While there, my c-l husband told her about the child coming and that he truly did want to be with me. She asked him if he was happy, he said yes. She ended the conversation saying that if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you it's yours and if not it was never yours to begin with. (You know that stupid saying)

I truly believe him when he says he does want to be with me, especially with the reaction I had when I told him about the baby. He was ecstatic. Also, just in the marriage thing which we never really brooched before.

I guess what I am looking for is proof that relationships can potentially get stronger after an incident like this. I am a counsellor myself but my area of expertise is in addictions not marital conflict.

Any suggestions?? I would appreciate all help and feedback.

Thanks so much!

Hematite1975,

Well, I am proof that you can survive A's in a M. If you look at my signature line at the end of this post you will see our basic history. But, it is something that you need to look w/in yourself to see if you want to stay in the c/l M and take that step for the wedding and such. I wish I could offer you more advice. Read up on the principles here, and maybe even have your c/l H come here and read as well. My final recomendation is to post this on the General Questions II board. I know that this board is labled "Pregnancy/Child" but that is in regards to a pregnancy or child from an A and the extra difficulties surrounding that specific outcome.

I hope that you get the help you need!

Tigger