The problem: My husband has a three year old son from a previous marriage, and now he tells me that he doesn't want anymore children. He knew from the very beginning of our relationship that I wanted children. He had told me too, at the beginning that he wanted at least two more. Now he doesn't. What am I to do. I desperately want children with my husband, but I don't want to give him anything he doesn't want. I have accepted his son as my own and he even calls me "mommy" and he says that's enough. But for the women who know, it isn't. PLEASE HELP!!!!

heartbroken:

This section of the website is mainly for dealing with pregnancy/children from AFFAIRS. Your best bet would be to post your question on the Emotional Needs side of the board, because you'll get more traffic over there.

I would suggest that you read this website from top to bottom, especially the Concepts and Q&A sections, to get a feel for the MB philosophy. You and your husband need to use Radical Honesty and the Policy of Joint Agreement to try to come to some resolution over this very difficult issue. You may be able to successfully address your husband's reluctance for more children. In listening to his side (respectfully, w/o lovebusting), you may be convinced to wait for more children or put it off altogether. You may both find yourselves at such opposite ends that you enthusiastically agree to get a divorce (I hope that's not the case). But you need to learn how to negotiate safely and pleasantly to a point where both you and your husband feel like "winners"---so that you continue to build romantic love between the two of you.

If you find this to difficult to do on your own, I'd suggest that you call the MB office and start some phone counseling/coaching with Steve or Jenn Harley (888-639-1639). They're both terrific (I've counseled with both), and they may be able to help you quickly navigate this problem in your marriage.