Yesterday was our 28th wedding anniversary. Of course I didn't hear from WH. Friends took care of me and made sure I knew I am loved and cared about. I wrote a poem and sent WH. I will post it on the Poems forum. Check there for it. Friends wanted copies of it. I mailed it to him along with a card that said "I know you had hard decisions to make. Listen to your heart..........." So, I spent the day shopping with a friend, at school packing things up and the evening with my sons. My oldest gave me a rose. I had phone calls and pep talks. The day wasn't so bad after all. It showed me how much support I have and how much I am loved by so many. Check out my poem....In Retrospect. Let me know what you think. Texasgirl I always like hearing from you. I paid the retainer fee to the lawyer. I guess I will talk to him this week. H is anxious to get this over. I deserve better and my new friend is the nicest man I have ever met. I talk to him on the phone several times a week. He is supportive and knows what I am going through. He is a counselor and has been through this himself. He thought my poem was powerful and thought provoking. So, I will stop here and post in now.

AngelStrength,

I am sorry to hear your WS did not acknowledge your anniversary. We are at the same point. I too had 28th anniversary June 6th, and not a word from my husband either. It is really heartbreaking. Did not even acknowledge my 50th birthday or mothers day last month.

I am glad you found support in your friends and family.

Like your husband, mine was anxious to get it over with also. And by mid next week, everything will be final. I have a 20yr old son, and 23yr old Daughter, and this has been extremely difficult for them. Especially the son who completly feels displaced by the 2oc.

I will go read your poem now.

Tina

Your 2 stories are so very painful. A prayer for your support and peace.

Hugs,
J

I can relate to both of you.

I just had my 27th anniversary, without my H in home also. We have been physically separated for 6 weeks, and right now, I don't see any indication H wants to reconcile unless I accept his weird life of him being father to OC and having some contact with OW to do so.

Sorry, but when am a husband disrespects a wife so much like that, and knows he is hurting her by his actions, and yet still does what he wants, I am not interested in reconciliation.

We have two young kids in the home, and he now is an absent father to them. Doesn't seem to care either. HIs mother, sister, brother, father, and all spouses of above think what he is doing is wrong, They are all supporting me.But it doesn't matter.

I don't think I had an anniversary if H is out of home, as I told my 6 year old.

I did send H an email card thanking him for a lifetime together, and got no acknowledgment.

I think I will never see the man I married again.This A has changed more than our life, it has changed him.

I no longer want him under these conditions.

I feel sad for our children, and me.

It seems hopeless to me.

Prayers for us all.

Hey, Angelstrength,
Looks like things may be changing for you. I know it is not what you wanted. I wish your H had been like mine and saw the way he was screwing things up.
I used to tell myself, "when things get tough, the tough get going". Well you are tougher than you think, and I know I was.
Do your homework, talk to JAG and be sure what you are entitled to for all the years your were following him around as his "Army Wife". I'd say if he is remorseful enough and you can if you can get all of his retirement. If he is willing to let you have it, go for it. Let the lawyer handle it, You stay out of it. If anyone has to be mean let it be the lawyer, that way he still sees you in a favorable light. After all it isn't you being mean to him it is your lawyer looking out for your interests.
When your marraige starts down the path to diverging it is time to let it go. He can always come back if he wants to and if you want him. My lawyer told me she had had several cases where the couple walked out of the courthouse, and later started courting. Later they remarreid. Weird, right?
But since he has made the choices he has, it is time for you to look for what will enable your next 20 to 30 years to be good ones. Maybe even better ones. I told my H, he didn't know what he was giving up. later he told me he did and realised he didn't want to give it up. But it wasn't easy. We never went to court. But once I started talking lawyer, he sat up and took notice.
Well I am longwinded as usual. Take care. Keep us informed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Texasgirl.