I fell in the bathroom last night and reached out for something as I fell. The youngest was in the tub and unfortunately my hand found her face. This knocked her off balance and she fell. The other side of her head hit the tub. We got up and cried together and I got the ice. She really didn't seem all that hurt. But she has a huge handprint on one side of her face and a purple ear on the other side. I know accidents happen, but it looks pretty bad. I told the people at the daycare what happened. I hope they believe me. It looks very suspicious. I would probably at least think about calling dhs if I saw a kid like this.

BTW, I saw hubby over the weekend. It was very bad. I think he came home because he wanted money which I would've mailed him, but he wanted immediately. He has spent the entire amount that we have budgeted for the month last week. I have no idea what he spent it on, but his entire month of money is gone. One interesting thing is that I told him that if he had not cleared the phone history on his cell that I'd give him $100. He lost. He is acting like he finds me repulsive. I was hysterically crying when he left. He hasn't called since he went back to base. It's getting rough...

I am also pregnant and obviously do not need all this stress.

Aimee,

Take a deep breath. I know a bit about how you're feeling. I have a son who took a nasty fall at his daycare and when I took him to the ER, I was questioned many times about how it happened. Usually, social workers are a lot smarter than many people think they are. One isolated incident isn't enough to turn into a major issue. If they are called, and your daughter is old enough to talk, they'll interview her. I think they can tell a lot from a child's responses. There's a lot of difference in the behavior of an abused child and one who has been in an accident.

Best of luck with your pregnancy. I'm due around Xmas myself and I know how the hormones make us freak out about everything.

Oh Amiee...
I know the feeling of worrying someone won't believe you and may possibly call DHS...
Do you remember when Lil Bit first began crawling and pulling up to stand??? OH boy...
I pray that the dc person believes you and that nothing comes out of this unfortunate incident.

How far along are you now?? Did I miss you posting about it before, or is the first mention of it???

Take care of you and the kids... I will continue keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Aimee,

I too will pray for you.

I have been absent from the board for a couple of months and I may have missed some things. You are pregnant? How far along? Are you happy about it? It sounds like the circumstances are difficult. Are you and H separated? Not implying an affair here. I guess just wondering if you got pregnant and he hit the road or if you got pregnant during a separation because we all know that many separated couples continue to experience SF.

MJ

Aimee,

I wouldn't worry, even if dhs is called. As others have said, they can tell a lot about how a child acts/reacts! I hope that you are both doing ok after this fall!

I'm with everyone else about your P! How are you feeling in that regards! Take care of yourself that the two little ones!

As for your H, have you discussed with him moving out there since your last post? Could your crying been partially due to your hormones? I really don't know what to say! I'll pray for you all, and please continue to keep us updated!

Love,

Tigger

Hubby was deployed to the "sandbox" and when he returned got stationed at a base about 450 miles from us. We thought when he returned it would be to home. He is national guard, but they are keeping him longer probably till October.

We have seen him a few times since he returned. I had not been taking bc while he was gone and I don't think it had kicked back in yet. I was pregnant right away. I am at two and a half months. I didn't want to tell anyone yet, haven't even told my family. I guess I just got carried away today, but I am glad to share with you all who I consider supportive friends.

Hubby was delighted. I am excited to a point. Kinda apprehensive because of previous miscarriages and because of the unstable life that hubby is pushing. But I want to be excited!

It just seems like he lives for the moment and doesn't care about the future effects. I am trying to just deal with our everyday responsibilities and ignore the stresses. While he is out there having fun. They work a regular 7 hour day and then he has the rest of the time to be free and enjoy. He is in barracks that are off post, has his own vehicle, his own tv, etc and lots of free time. He goes to movies and hangs out with guys and girls who live nearby. He has no expenses (military pays for everything including food), but I have been sending him $500 a month. I don't spend that much at home, but he says he has to have it. (And he is the one earning the money.) He doesn't seem to understand that in a family you have to sacrifice some for the good of all. I hope that we can go to counseling when he returns.

Amiee, our situations have such similarities... yet so many differences too.

2 1/2 months... 10 wks? I understand your apprehension... totally. I was exactly the same until I actually felt Mac move.

What does your Dr say? I am so full of questions!!!
I would love to email you... Give you someone else to talk to about the apprehension..
Here is my email... **removed**

((Hugs))

<small>[ July 23, 2003, 10:50 AM: Message edited by: Stacia_Lee ]</small>

aimee,
I know the stress you are under and under normal circumstances it is hard to care for small children , especially in the military, and you have an even greater stress added that these children are not biologically yours.
I also know what it is like for it be over whelming while husband is away working in the military and hanging out in the evenings while I sit home alone with children and other wives.
It is frustrating and we grow resentfull over time, and we also lose patience after months of it, children can be trying at times .
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
My concern is if the child still had a hand print this morning when you went to day care, that would have been an awefully hard slap even for an adult to have fallen, I think maybe if she is that hurt you should take her to the nearest dr immediately to make sure no other damage is done. Just tell them what happened, or at the very least make an appt, with your family doctor. Just to make sure she doesnt have a concussion or something , kids are pretty tuff, but cant hurt to check on it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Then if someone did say something you would have proof you already were concerned and took her to the dr.
My daughter had a black eye first time she met om's wife, she had been learning to walk and down she went on the edge of the table, but what could I do. I still cringe at the pictures.

I would be concerned about your husband needing all the money, sometimes when you have kids, and they are his kids he should sacrifice to make sure you and the children have what you need, and that includes paying for a sitter so you can have time out away from home, to shop , have lunch with a friend. any thing to keep you stress free.
If the money is of great concern call his commander ask him if husband is in need of that much and tell him you need it at home, they will make sure you have what you need in an afteroon and husband will grow up. I know this sounds harsh but you and the kids have to be taken care of and he will be taken care of, the military sees to that.

Congratulations on the new baby, I wish you well.

(sigh) Aimee....so much to deal with and think about right now.

Your daughter is going to be fine and is resilient. You love her and take good care of her. She is a kid and knows this was an accident and that you feel terrible...she probably is worrying about you.

My Mom was the sweetest thing and greatest Mom in the world but one day when she came to a sudden stop (pre-seat belt era), I went [censored] over teakettle into the dash board. It took a several days for the imprint of a backwards "Ford" to heal from my forehead.

Hmmm...that explains a lot....

Another time she grabbed me as I began to fall down the steps leaving a really nasty black and blue mark on my upper arm where she caught me...with finger prints and everything. It turned ugly shades of purple then green. Today, she would be suspected of possible abuse when she really saved me from breaking my neck. Like everyone said, the social workers, doctors will know and your child's response will be evident that it was a mishap...try not to worry.

As for your husband and his demand for $500 a month when he has his living expenses and meals paid for is pretty outrageous. I can see him needing $50 a week for a couple beers with the guys or laundry money or incidentals, but $500 a month is groceries for your kids for a month, or utilities and insurance. That is a lot of money.

I hate it when men say that since they earn the money, they are entitled to spend it any way they choose. Well, that is true, if they are SINGLE and do not have any obligations to a wife and a brood of kids they have produced, but under the circumstances, the money he earns is money he has earned for the family. Your husband needs a reality session with Suzy Orman. I'm sorry he is putting you through this when you have so much on your mind. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Catnip =&&= had my ears done...like it?

First- I assure you this wasn't intentional. In fact, the youngest one is the best. She is very compliant with my requests and offers to "help me". She listens and cares. She is not the one who is frustrating. And I don't hit them in the face anyway. If I do have to discipline, it is more often the older and I choose to do a swat on the bottom or a timeout in the corner. I rarely even have to ask the younger one to do something twice. This was an accident.

Second- There was a small remnant of the handprint when I arrived last night to take the kids home. But at that point it was just a small mark, no longer a handprint. By this morning, that too is nearly gone. I think that is a place where my ring hit her. Her ear is still bruised. Anyway, the director asked me to come to the office and asked me what happened. I told her and she said that she understood and that ordinarily if they had seen something like this they would call dhs. But (and I thought this was really cool) she said that since I had a reputation of being a mommy that cares for the kids and that I had shown them right away and not tried to hide it that they had decided not to. She said that obviously if it was a pattern or something like that then they would be concerned, but that they know better than the people at dhs that accidents happen. I appreciated the vote of confidence and their understanding.

I felt really bad about the whole incident. I keep thinking that no matter what kind of marks had been on me and my siblings no one would have even known because daycare was with our mother. And no one really thought so much about abuse back then. But these days you just have to be leery. So, thanks for your support. And since hubby still hasn't called, I probably won't even say anything to him about the incident. I mostly would have needed his calm reassurance anyway and I got it from a great group who isn't nearly as fickle as hubby. Your support and kind words defintely helped me to be more calm at work yesterday and not worry too much about what might happen. Thanks.

Aimee,

That's great news about the director from the child care! I'm glad that all your worry was over nothing!

I really do pray that your M can get worked out!

Take care of the little ones, and the little one to be! I will pray for that as well!

Tigger

Aimee,

Just wondering how things are going for you! Hope things are well.

Tigger