I have not seen this topic when the husband's affair produces a child. I have been married to my husband for 11 years. I just recently found out that he has had an on going ( affair) relationship with another women for most all of our marriage. I also learned that she has a child by him almost 10 years old. To say the least I am devastated. We have one daughter together. I have not confronted him yet because I am trying to sort things. He does not know that I am aware of the affair. We have been talking and he says that he loves me and wants to work on strenghtening our relationship. He has been a good provider for me and our daughter. When he goes out of town I am with him. Trips, social affairs I attend with him. I know that we must deal with this, but I need a starting point. I am not ready to leave or divorce him yet. I cannot accecpt him contiuning his sexual relationship with this women, but the child throws in an additional complication. Can you give me some advice. I think he will become very defensive once I let him know what I know. I he did a good job of hiding this from me or I was to stupid not to see signs.
yoki

One always hates to say welcome to this forum, because when you come here with this problem your life is not a happy one.
Most here are dealing with the same situation.
As some of the more experienced ones will tell you, read everything here from the Harleys. then get ready to address your marriage.
Most of us are here because we want to save our marriages. It is not an easy path, but it is one usually worth the effort.
You didn't mention the age of your child.
I also gather that if he is still seeing her, then he is seeing his child with the Other Woman (OW).
All here will tell you the first priority, he must end the affair.
Then you have to address your marriage and how you will incorporate the child into your lives, note I said YOUR lives.
Some, including my H and I, have no contact with his OC, but I don't think that will happen with yours.
I would insist therefore that all contact concerning seeing the child go thru you or another person. He can see his child, if you agree to that, but you will know and possibly get to know the child yourself.
These are just some suggestions and others will post.
Good luck, it isn't easy being here,but we are a caring supportive group.

Welcome,
Texasgirl