Hello. I've been wondering about you. One of my brothers is still gone (9 months now) and one is on his way back (6 months). Hubby was in the war zone for nearly 5 months but is still deployed and a long way from home. And I read in the military mag that everyone who goes now will definitely be gone for a year and that they may use marines instead of so much reserve power.
My hubby and one brother was in support of 3rd ID. Although their jobs would have not implied direct combat, I understand that they did see some- personally. Hubby isn't ready to talk about that kind of thing. He did say that there was a lot more blood than he expected. And he said that most of the natives they encountered were thankful, but the few that were not were loud and mean. He said that some of the soldiers got a little crazy with the bombs flying through camp and with being told they were coming home and changing plans every two weeks. My other brother has been given three definite dates of coming home and now they say maybe september. But he is not in the combat area so it's not as nerve wracking. Hubby will talk about a few things, but really not much. I've just tried to be patient with that and told him that if he needed to or wanted to then I am here. I'm sure that all of that is really tough. In the redeployment (seems to be the wrong word) speech when they are returning home, I know they always tell spouses to not pressure them and let them set the pace for a while.
While gone, we would hear from my brother about every three weeks. And sometimes it was from someone else who said that he told their spouse to call us. My hubby called twice from Kuwait on arrival, then we didn't hear anything for about six weeks. He sounded okay, but kinda withdrawn. He didn't seem to know what to say which is not like him at all. He said that he missed me a lot and didn't want me to worry but he was kinda quiet. I was just so happy to hear his voice. Then he didn't call again until he got back to Kuwait. I got three letters that he could have sent to anyone. Very bland with a luvya at the end. They were just telling about some of the things they encountered and that he hated sand storms!
By the way, the homecoming was SO COOL. Even though they weren't coming home exactly, it was so exciting. We got 36 hours with him before he had to report back. I had made yellow ribbons and a big sign and got a gift bag for him with his favorite beer and potato chips and his favorite pajama pants. I didn't know if he would be hungry or tired or what so I was prepared for whatever. It was late and he decided he wanted to go back to the hotel. We sat by the pool beside the lobby for awhile just watching other families arrive at the hotel and he'd wave or introduce us to them. He held my hand nearly the whole time and just didn't want to let go! The first few hours were a little uncomfortable, but having the kids around made it some easier. Yknow kids have that way sometimes! We put them to bed when they started having droopy eyelids. We sat together on the balcony for awhile and just talked. He mainly asked me about stuff back home. Then at one point he said I have missed you so much... and he reached over and kissed me and ummm I'd say I got pregnant within the next little while. And he was more gentle and tender and loving with me than I remember but he also did a lot of little bites which he'd never done before. That made me wonder but I didn't say anything and just enjoyed him.
During that 36 hours, he held onto me and was so sweet. I felt priviliged to be around the guy I married. He treated me like gold. I did give him his cell phone during that time, but I was so much more important to him then. And it was hard to take him back to base and say goodbye again.
During the next few weeks, things got steadily worse. We were talking on the phone everyday, but many times he would zone out watching tv or he'd call to tell me something exciting and then when I wanted to tell him something he tunes me out. It wasn't long until I noticed the tons of incoming calls. I think the situation is partly to blame. The military set him up in housing and it's like his own little bachelor pad. And he has just way too much free time. There are of course lots of topless joints near base too but mine goes for the girls he meets in the grocery store, etc. I think that being in the bachelor pad just helped him back into the swing of the behaviors of the guy he had been.
At one point, I told him that I had been worried about him being with females in the desert. And he brushed it aside in a way that made me feel better. He said that they were too busy with work or sleep to even think about sex. They also rarely bathed. And he said that there was very little privacy. I asked him about the other guys and girls. He said it didn't even come up, that they were just all soldiers and didn't have time for that kind of thing. I pressed and said surely there were rumors about somebody, and he just shrugged and said no. Anyway he just gave very little thought to it in his answer. And usually if he's guilty, I can tell that he's lying. He talks slow and he makes up toooooo many details. There's no guarantee, but I don't think anything happened over there.
My brother said much of the same. That there was little time and that he hadn't heard of rumors of lovers. He would tell me the truth. Not that he was anywhere near my husband but it helped that the story was the same for more than one unit. Thanks for the thoughts. I just hope that soon we will be back together, and we can go to counseling. I'm trying to ignore the stress right now because of the baby. How long till I start feeling it move!!!!
Do take it slow when yours returns. Don't tell him your fears right away. And just let him know how glad you are to have him home.
