murph,,,,,, i am glad to see that you and your w have come to this decision. it is a hard road but it is a road traveled more then we know.

another question or two. what does your w see as the benefits of telling om should he be the bio dad? since there is a possibility that you are the bio dad and your w wants to save your marriage why even take a test to check? why not just go on the presumption that she made a mistake with her A but you are the father of her child/

let me explain why i say this. if there is a reasonable chance that you are the bio dad then what will be gained by bringing om into the picture if that were the case? in most states after a defined period of time (generally about 2 years) you will become the legal father of the baby anyway seeing that you were married at the time of conception. no need for sticky paternity battles. i know since we are in the middle if one. actually we are doing quite well having to make just a couple of small concessions.

murh, just wanted to drop in and tell you I'm praying for you both.

pops is right, don't bring om into it as nothing has been proven yet. Also it can become an expensive mess if he is bio-dad, and pursues it.

Talk to your wife and explain your reasons for not telling. Let her think about it before you two talk again.

pops glad to hear you're doing fine!

Blessings,
Debi

Hey guys,

Long time no speak. Thank you all for your prayers. We are not going to contact the other man about her P. We are simply going to have the amnio and compare that DNA to mine. Once we have that information than we will be able to discuss how we are going to proceed.

If the baby is not mine (ugh) then we have to discuss what is fair, not only to the baby but also to the OM.

So keep lifting us up in prayers as we continue on. My W has terrible morning (all-day) sickness which really hampers her physically, please pray that those symptoms fade as quickly. And continue to pray that I love her unconditionally without the creeping "needs" coming up.

Peace,

murph,
May God give you more wisdom and courage to face this together and a full-term, healthy baby. It is plain to see that God is with you, strengthening you and your marriage! When I was p with my twins, all I could eat without feeling nauseated was pb&j on toast... maybe your wife could try eating some of that?!

We have our first ultrasound today. I keep joking with my W that she's carrying twins because of the extreme sickness and she's grown much faster this time around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So we'll see what the sound waves reveal today. Hopefully the ultrasound would give us a firmer date of conception also, which would alleviate any further tests. In my perfect world that'd be what happens.

Keep praying,

Murph

murph,,,,, just curious how things are going for you .

Pops,

Found out today that the W has been in contact with OM. She has emailed and spoken with him a few times. He does not know that she is pregnant, but I am very hurt that she has been lying to me.

The baby is doing well, heartbeat and all. Will be having the CVS in the next few weeks, and find out that I'm the father.

We've talked and cried alot tonight. She's dealing with so much. The separation, the P, and me. She's asked if its possible to send email to him once and awhile. She knows that he can't respond (blocked), but she feels that it would help ease her pain. I've told her that tonight I don't feel that it will help anything all it represents is her "feelings" for this OM.

Emotionally exhausted. We're taking tomorrow off and spending it as a family.

Keep praying,

Murph

<small>[ September 16, 2003, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: Murph94 ]</small>