I found out nearly one year ago that my husband had an affair. The child was born on my birthday. In this year we have tried to make it work quite a few times. The last time he left was Jan of this year.

Through God's intervention in our lives (it certainly was not me! I have only been a christian for one year also) my H has been home since April. Every day I struggle with the poor choices he made. I struggle spritually if it really is God's will for this marriage to work (and why) Some days I feel completely overwhelmed with everything. We are not intimate at all. We barley even give each other a kiss. I have 2 children of my own and am VERY concerned about their well beings. For me it seems to be all a bit much. WE are paying CS as well and he tells me for the sake of our marriage his has no contact with the OW or OC. (This I know bothers him not seeing the OC)I struggle with the idea of him not telling my the truth. There was ALOT of lying on his part before.

How do you hang in there every day? How do you truly believe this marriage is going to work? How do I stop dragging myself down and "get over" all the issues that constantly run through my head.

At this point my H is stuck between a rock and a hard place. I question every motive or action of his.

I want to get passed this NOW. I am thinking about divorce because then at least he will not be in my face and I will not have to deal with his baggage.

Please forgive for rambling, It's been the most life altering year I have ever had in my WHOLE life. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

England,
I work with a Doctor that cheated on his wife with a nurse at the same hospital! Yes she got pregnant and had his baby! His grown children were distraught! He is still married to hie wife and he bought his girlfriend a huge house and he is supporting her and the baby!! How are his children? He seems to stay VERY Quiet about the whole familt accepting this but his daughter still speaks to him because she came to work with him one day! Maybe she doesn't know since noone asked! Can that be?

Dear England,
This is my first time RESPONDING to someone else. I only found out about my husband's ONE NIGHT STAND 3 weeks ago and baby is due October 31. OW doesn't want to raise child, wants US to do so. Wants to see him on occasion, though. I struggle every day with whether or not I can even do it. This is how I go on...I have been a Christian for about 6 years. If there's one thing I have had to learn through my life's experiance is that God is in control. He sees all, and knows all. He knew that I would be right where I am now and He even already knows where I am going. All I can do is trust that He will give me the grace to make it through each day, one day at a time. I pray continually that He does so. I take solace in knowing that He, at any given time, could completely change the situation, despite my own will and the will of my H. My MAIN concern is always and will always be, my relationship with and my obedience to Him and Him alone. Some of my own past choices allowed me to get to this path in my life as well, and He has always been there for me. I pray continually that He will speak loudly and clearly to me at each and every point where I must make a decision. THEN, I do not move until I get complete confirmation of that decision. I am in close contact with several Christian women, who are older than me, not only chronologically, but older in the faith, as well. They are my "sounding board" when I come to those places of decision. God's Word says "plans fail for lack of counsel", so I counsel often with them. ALso, I remain steadfast and blameless in my own walk with the Lord. Not sinless, because Lord knows, I'm human, but blameless, in that I am confessing, repenting, remaining obedient. Also, as much as is possible for me, I am living at peace with my H. I have an 18 year old son who lives with us, and H has 3 adult children in another state. 3 of 4 of them know and 1 of them asked me to leave him. It gave me an opportunity to share God's plan for marriage AND salvation. I also stand firm in the fact that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. It's all about Jesus. If He can save this marriage, then through the testimony of that He can save ONE soul...WOW! What a thrill to be a part of that. It's like watching a movie. This is a temporary life and the glory will come. Nothing promises us that we'll be "happy" only that we'll be made holy. Stand firm in your faith and allow your children to see GRACE, MERCY and FORGIVENESS first hand as they watch how you handle the adversity that this "life" has thrown your way. You will be blessed with peace and joy in knowing that your children will know the Lord as well. God bless you!

BelieveHeIs,

Wow!!!!! I do not know you but have nothing but respect for your strength and your faith!!

I am blessed enough to also have believers around me that have been walking with God much longer than I. They would/have been telling me the same things you have written down.

I have been in the situation for nearly 1 year and are no where near where you are. I am truly amazed and believe that God is holding you close.

I struggle with God's will. (and that is where I am right now) It would just be so much easier to ask my H to leave and just fend for myself and my children. I change my mind it seems like every hour about the situation with my H.

Boy - When I moved to America I know that I was going to be challanged. Sadly not too the extent that I have been.

Thanks for posting!

My pray for you is that God will continue to give you strength and let you always be a living testament to his grace.