I have been reading a lot of posts regarding the OC, but I was wondering if anyone could help me with my situation. My H has an OC and he wants NC with her. The OW has petitioned for child support, and my H went to court with the OW. We have had paternity test results so we know it is his. When my H went to court he took his most recent paystub, and the court told him he would have to pay $500 or so to his OC, but we have three children together and they said they account for them in their calculations. The court said they allot $900 of his income for them, which sucks because that means our children are only getting $300 a piece while the OW child gets $500. Currently I am not working because it is cheaper to stay home than to pay for 2 daycare bills, but this judgement is going to cause our financial ruin. My husband had told the OW that he could only afford to give her $300 a month, so she told him she would see her in court. This seems so unfair especially since when they went to court she did not have to show any proof of her income, they just took her word!!!! She and he are in the military so we know she lied about her income. What can we do? I tolh my H to file an appeal, I also feel if we are going to pay CS then we might as well be involved, maybe even try for joint custody. I do not know if I truely want this or if this is just my reaction out of anger, but my H does not agree he wants NC. I have a problem with that because we are going to be paying for her so we might as well get to know her. Please help! I just do not know what to do, I do not know how we can afford this.

Someone mentioned that people have gone for CS for their own children together so they wouldn't have to pay so much for the OC, what is this, and how do we go about it?

Is there any way that your H can prove his expenses are taking up most of the income?

I wonder if they made him prove his income without asking what his expenses are??? That really doesn't seem fair.

If your H doesn't want contact, I would support him in that and not force him to be friendly if he doesn't want to. Then, you are free to concentrate on improving your relationship.

If there is any way you could appeal that judgment, it's worth a try. It's not fair to your family and your H probably feels lousy for doing this to you and the kids. If you force him to have contact, it might do more damage than what's already done.

The xOW's behavior is awful. She is not taking your children into consideration, it seems. What if you talk to her? Do you think she would hear you out?

I have talked to her and explained how hard this has and will be, especially since I was about to have our baby, and she seemed so understanding. Then the next thing I know she is calling my husband at work demanding he support "his child", reminding him that she "didn't lay down and make this baby herself". He told her what we could afford and she didn't want it so she took him to court. She has tried to convince him to have contact with the baby, but he does not want it. He feels bad, but he said he just resents the baby, and I think it would just be a constant reminder of what he has done to his family.

I had tried to get him to get a lawyer before he went to court but he said we couldn't afford it. He did get a free consultation but the lawyer said they have a formula they use to determine child support, and that is all they would do. He told the judge that I am not working, and that we have mortgage and other bills but she did not care. She told him that they "have a formula". It just doesn't seem fair, that the xOW can go into court with no documentation and lie about her income, thus causing us to pay 61% of the child's support and she only has to pay 39%.

My H is going to appeal it, and we are going to make sure he has proof of her income since she is in the military too. I just can't believe that the court would take her word without making her prove her income, of course she would lie so she can pay less. My husband's income is actually less than hers once you take out the amount that the court allows for our three children, but since she lied the court does not know this. He has nothing to lose by going back to court, the worst they can do is uphold the original amount, but that should not happen if they have the truth.

Thanks for your response. Wish me luck.