My MM is expecting another OC by the same OW. The due date is next month. What in the hell did I do to deserve this? How could he do this again? Within months of the first OC being born he got her pregnant AGAIN! Those two are a class act. I am beyond angry. I feel so much right now. I spoke with OW and she had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't keep MM out of her life. That they have two kids together so he will always be apart of her life. That she has been with him and only him for 3 years. Tell me how can you be involved with someone elses husband and call it a relationship? It's not a relationship it's a disgusting make believe world. How in the hell can you sleep with a man that sleeps/lives/married with another woman?

One OC is too much, but 2 what the hell? Why didn't he marry her and spare me the pain and humiliation? We have no children together. Why drag me through their sick game? MM never let me heal and get through the pain this past year after first d-day. He didn't tell me about 1st OC. He lied until the day we went to court.

I feel as if I am the OW. It's like I am the one entruding into their life. If he had told me he wanted her, I would have let him go. If she had told me he was seeing her, I would have let him go. Why the lies? He and OW take no responsibility. It makes me sick to think that they must enjoy the pain they are causing me. I was so depressed this past year. I was just starting to feel like me again and now I'm thrown back into hell.

How can I face what is before me?

**Tell me how can you be involved with someone elses husband and call it a relationship? **

Its called stupidity. I've been there. Sorry you have to go through this. I have 2 children with a MM and am married myself. Pure stupidity. In my case i truely regret what I did to my H, MM wife and most of all how I let my self get so low in life.

I guess you have to sit back an think if you really want to be with your H. Is he sorry for what he has done.

I am so sorry you are being put through the most horrible thing that can happen in a marriage...again.

There are some people who will tolerate a second OC, but they are few and far between.

Harley principle on this is if a couple has not created a long history together and have no children together, it is recommended that you leave the marriage and let the WS marry the OP to be a parent to his/her child/ren.

It sounds as if these two [censored]$ deserve each other...but most of all, YOU deserve so much more. Shame on both of them for putting you through this.

I sincerely hope you extricate yourself from this toxic sick marriage and let the two of them cut each other to shreds with their lack of dignity, character and integrity. Let em crash and burn and move on.

The best revenge is living well and happy while they wallow in their misery.

Ninety-nine percent of the time I push for recovery/reconcilliation. But in this particular case, my recommendation is to run for your life.

Catnip =^^=

blue,,,,,, what a sad pair if fools have entered your life. especially the one who calls himself a husband. without hearing another word of your story i would agree with catnip and head for higher ground immediately. it is obvious that your h is a habitual liar and cheat. don't let this man abuse you any longer and throw him out the back door with the garbage.

don't give up on yourself as this situation is due to his lack of character.

Blue,
I am sorry to hear of your situation. I am one of the few here that does/did have 2oc.

XH and OW had a 7 year affair. I had no clue, I had hunches of overstepping boundries of their boss/secretary relationship, but never in my wildest dreams would have thought OC would have been in the picture. We at the time were married 26 years, and 2 children 18 &21.

I was told of the OC and the affair at the same time when XH found out the 2oc was expected.

It took 2 years to come to our outcome of divorce. I went to the extreme of accepting OC in our lives, but OW would never consider joint custody. She never wanted to let us work on our relationship. Trying to cut off all contact with OW was impossible for H, but then in retrospect he never wanted to.

I was dealing with two very messed up selfish people. I wished also that he had the courage 8 years ago to tell me the truth before OC were involved. Now those two are responsible for messing up my life, as H wanted to repair the damage of our marriage, so for 1 1/2 years I worked like heck to try, but still ended up divorced because it was the easy way out for him. And he is responsible for messing up our 2 children's lives. Very hard to accept the fact that their whom they respected would do this.

This forum was a life saver for me. It just took me a long time to follow their advice.

Tina

Thank you for your responses. No, he doesn't seem to be sorry about what he has done. He denies it---even to his parents (I told them). Liars always make you doubt the truth. Although I KNOW she is pregnant because I have a friend at the hospital. I'm really am in a fog. I have moved in with a friend to relieve some stress. I know that I must move on with my life. I had been working so damn hard at saving our relationship. Granted I hadn't discovered this site. But I don't think that means I deserve what has happened. I just don't understand how MM can leave me for someone who is a liar, immoral and deceitful. To him it must be better to live in fantasy land with her instead of living in the real world with me. The thing I don't understand is that he denies his relationship with her to everyone.

I try to push the fantasy out of my mind that he will change and be Mr. Perfect. If I had known that life would have been this painful and love could hurt this much, I never would have signed up.

Well, Thanks again...

To: CrazyMum

When you were involved with MM did you really think of it as a relationship? Did you ever think of his wife? I mean I just don't understand what OW/MM could be thinking. How can anyone hurt another person this much? Sometimes I hurt so bad I want my world to end. I feel like I can't get out of bed. It pains my heart to see children especially babies. I feel so empty and alone. But I know if either of them were sorry, they would stop what they are doing immediately. I feel like he allowed her to steal my life, my dreams. He gave her what should have belonged only to me. I guess I would feel some satisfaction in knowing she must feel sorry and all that. I mean could you tell me how you felt? I tried speaking to her, but she seems to think she's won some prize. I can't help that I still love him. But it feels wrong. It feels like I'm the OW. We were always careful about not having children. We wanted things to be right financially and all that. So how could he do this with her? This is killing me. I know he must tell her he loves her. How can she help him sin and call it love? How can he be there with her and forget I exist? This is a dangerous game they are playing. I really am lost.

Blue,

I honestly don't remember what I was thinking at the time. I know with the first OC, we actually planned it. I think this is worse than it being an accident. We weren't gonna tell anyone and have it be out little secret. I think this was the lowest I have ever went in my life. I ended up being so overwhelmed with guilt, I told my H the truth while I was 5 months along. I can say at the time I was in love with MM, fell for everything he said. At one point it killed me when I went to his place of business and caught him kissing and cuddling with his wife (whom he told me nothing was going on with). I also had to deal with my husbands affair.

When it came down to the second OC, it was a one night thing, a guilt screw you could say. I felt horrible due to his divorce. That was the last time we had sex. I am not getting ridicule from XMM cause I don't want to have a relationship with him. He is divorced from his wife, but they still live together and share a bed. And I am still with my H. I felt the guilt of what I did, the pain I caused others and the horrible things I did and said.

At one point I gloated over the fact that I had MM children and his W didn't. She has three children with her first H, but none with MM. I look back and I'm appaled at things. I have recently sent her an apology letter. IF I could go back and redo things I would. But its done and over. Its hard for me to comprehend why I decied to become the OW, after yrs of being the BW, I should have known better.

I honestly think your best bet is to leave your H. He sounds selfish. But most are during the affair. It is true when you hear stories of what the MM has told the OW. My XMM still trys, but I'm not falling for it. Yes, he probably does tell her loves her and wants to be with her. Its a big game to him. He's a cakeman, He wants his cake, and o eat it to. And you are right, if they were sorry, they would stop immediatly. The only prize she has won is a man that will eventually go out and cheat on her. Or maybe the oppisite, she'll end up throwing him out for another man.

I am truely sorry this is happening to you. Best wishes

Thank you for your reply. Believe it or not I feel better. I really do hate to whine and go on and on. But sometimes I just need to vent.
I just never planned on not being married for life. But I know what I have to do. Good luck to you and once again thanks for your help.