I am new at this so bear with me. I have been on a downward spiral and don't know where
I am going what my selfish and inconsiderate behavior. I met a woman at work several years ago and fell head over heals for her not realizing that would be the beginning of the end for me. To cut to the chase I was making plans to leave my (W) of almost 30 years as we had grown apart. On stead of leaving like someone with some sense I wound up fully involved with the (OW) who seemed like my perfect match. I say seemed like because one fateful day in Sept. one year into the relationship I found out that the person had carefully hidden a deep darl secret from me. The person was a recovering drug addict with a long history of abuse. I was devastated to learn this. I wound up waking the streets at night in places that I would not even walk in the day time let alone the night for over a month trying to find her. To cut to the chase I managed to get her into rehab program to turn her situation around. She became pregnant later and had a boy. This was not something we sat down and talked about it happened. I was still reeling from the shock of her undisclosed problem. Her behavior changed from sweet and demure to rude and insensitive and downright mean towards me. I sank a significant amount of time and resources into this person who appeared to do a Jekyl/Hide number on me. Meanwhile taking stock of her entire behavior towards me I began to see how I made a big mistake. We had a big argument one day and she wound up taking me for support even though I was paying every month for childcare tuition and cloths and other items when needed. The letter to the court was mailed to my home and my (W) opened it. Subsequently the (OW) called my home and left her name when my (W) answered the phone. That was the straw that broke the camels back. My (W) gave me notice to vacate our home. I lost my job. I have no prospects for a new one and no place to go. The (OW) has a daughter by someone else our little boy and another child of her sister's staying with her. If anyone has any idea how to pick your life up after falling into such a quagmire please let me know. my adult children still don't know yet what an old fool I have become. I can't blame anyone for my own studpidity.

We are all glad you have found this place and hopefully this evening some of the guys here will repsond to your post.

It sounds like your life has become one huge mess and your back is up against the wall. Sometimes when we get to the point where we have nothing else to lose, the decks are cleared for us to receive enlightenment from above.

This site was created to help people in troubled marriages rebuild their life and marriage by following and practicing the Harley steps to recovery, following the Rules and Principles posted within this site. Please take the time to read the material featured at the beginning of this site. It will give you insight and suggest solutions to begin rebuilding your marriage.

Some of the others should be along soon, so stay with us.

God bless

Catnip =^^=

Maggy2,

There's a whole lot of us here who have stuffed up big time.

I guess that life is a whole string of moments. Make as many of them count for good as poss.

Someone once told me that a principle of reconciliation is that you need to reconcile with people at the level at which they are affected by your actions. So you don't need to hang out your dirty washing for the whole world to see, but yes, your wife etc, you might need to humble yourself with them. Later, they will respect you for it.

I don't mean to sound preachy, cause I'm here because of my failures too. But Jesus had a big heart for people at the "bottom of the heap"... and He forgives.

I'll be praying for you.

Fo8