IT HAS BEEN A REAL HELL LATELY. VERY CONFUSED AS TO WHAT TO DO. THEY FORECLOSED ON OUR HOUSE AND WAS SOLD ON 9/11,BAD DAY,THEY HAVE NOT INFORMED US AS TO WHEN WE HAVE TO MOVE OUT,I'M SURE IT WILL BE BY THE END OF THE MONTH. WE HAVE ALMOST EVERYTHING PACKED, BUT WE HAVEN'T FOUND A PLACE YET.
HERE IS WHERE I'M SO CONFUSED ABOUT. H, AT THIS TIME, DOES NOT WANT TO MOVE WITH ME TO THE NEW PLACE. I BELIEVE HE IS BLAMING ME FOR THE LOSS OF OUR HOME, AND IS STILL VERY UPSET ABOUT LOSING THE HOUSE.WE ARE BOTH TO BLAME.
I KNOW WE PROBABLY NEED TIME AWAY FROM EACH OTHER, BUT MY GUT FEELING IS, HE WON'T BE BACK AND MY PAST HISTORY WITH MEN, THIS WAS THE WAY THEY ALL DID TO GET OUT OF MARRIAGE.THE ONLY DIFFERENCE THIS TIME IS,I'M NOT MOVING OUT OF STATE OR OUT OF THE SAME TOWN, STILL VERY CLOSE BY. THEY MADE PROMISES TO GET BACK TOGETHER, JUST NEED TIME AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.I'M SUCH A DUMB,TRUSTING IDIOT WHEN IT HAS COME TO THINGS LIKE THIS, LOVE AND ALL THAT STUFF.
H SAYS HE STIL LOVES ME VERY MUCH,AND STILL WANTS TO BE MARRIED TO ME, BUT NEEDS SOME TIME ON HIS OWN,AWAY FROM THE MESS.HE SAID HE WILL BE STAYING WITH THE SON OF ONE OF OUR LONGTIME COWORKER, IF NEED BE, WITH HIS PARENTS HIS MIND IS NOT MADE UP YET. HE HASN'T FIGURED OUT WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO ABOUT VISITATION WITH OC. HE DOES NOT PLAN ON TELLING OW OF OUR SEPARATION OR WHERE HE WILL BE STAYING.
I WILL BE GETTING OUR NEW PLACE, I MEAN MY NEW PLACE IN BOTH OUR NAMES,PLUS KEEPING THE OTHER STUFF IN OUR NAMES ALSO, ELECTRIC,GAS,ETC.,ALSO HE SAID THERE IS NO NEED TO GET A SEPARATE BANK ACCT.AT THIS TIME,SO WE ARE KEEPING OUR JOINT CHECKING ACCT.. WE WILL TALK TO EACH OTHER VERY OFTEN,AND I WILL STILL BE ABLE TO SEE THE OC,BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT'S GOING TO WORK IF WE AREN'T LIVING TOGETHER.PLUS OW WILL THINK SOMETHING IS UP WHEN I'M NOT WITH HIM, WHEN H GOES TO PICK UP OC, CUZ WE HAVE ALMOST ALWAYS GONE TOGETHER TO PICK UP OC,AND HE WON'T BE USING MY CAR,BUT HIS TRUCK,WHICH WE HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
MY BIGGEST FEAR WAS AND STILL IS, HE WILL GO BE WITH OW. HE SAID, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL HE WILL EVER BE WITH HER. I HAVE ASKED, WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF SHE DOES WHAT SHE DID BEFORE, FLASH HER BOOBS AND TRY TO GET HIM BACK INTO HER NASTY WORLD AGAIN BY GIVING UP SEX AT A DROP OF A DIME.HE SAID NO WAY,NO HOW,IT WILL HAPPEN, HE KNOWS NOW HOW MUCH OF A BIG SL-T, BIMBO B-TCH, SHE IS,MORE OF A B--CH THEN ME, WHICH IS HARD TO BELIEVE.
WELL ANYWAY,AM I TO BELEIVE AND TRUST WHAT HE IS SAYING? THESE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE BEEN UP AND DOWN FOR US,REFERRING TO OUR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER AND THE WAY WE HAVE SHOWN OUR LOVE AFFECTION, WE HAVE MADE LOVE A FEW MORE TIMES THEN USUAL,AND WE HUG AND KISS(DEEP PASSIONATE KISSES)ALOT MORE,AND WE HAVE CRIED TOGETHER ALOT. HE SEEMS JUST AS UPSET ABOUT NOT MOVING TOGETHER AS MUCH AS I AM,WHEN WE TALK ABOUT IT.
AM I TO JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS OR MAKE A CLEAN CUT OF HIM AND EVERYTHING. SOMEDAYS THAT IS MY THOUGHT, A CLEAN BREAK,AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE UPS AND DOWNS I'VE BEEN GOING THRU, BUT THEN AGAIN,I REMEMBER I STILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.
SOORY TO RAMBLE ON, SO PLEASE GIVE ME SOME OUTSIDE OPINIONS. ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME AND REALLY HELP IN THIS VERY CONFUSING TIME. THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE. BE WELL AND HAPPY

I am so sorry for your ordeal.

In 1996(d-day), I filed for divorce twice, almost moved out 3 times in first 3 years, and cost husband and I a lot of money that we worked so hard for.

If my husband would have let me move out, I, now, know we would no longer be together. He fought to keep me, and did, for life now, and for always. We are married 31 years now. It takes a long time to gain trust and respect again.

I would do everything I could to keep that husband of yours from leaving you, and living on his own. Follow your "gut" feelings. If you rally love him, fight for him.

Wishing you well.

ember