Ok we needed a new thread.
We will soon be shut down again but I wanted to say that unmet EN's are very crutial to a relationships well being.

Pops you say fullhouse understands your needs? You have spoken the needs to her with no response?

Maybe she needs to see a Dr too.

You both must see to it your health is in priority to fullfill each others unmet needs.

Now may I suggest a sitter and a room at a local hotel or motel...no triggers allowed....imagine you are meeting to patch things up and both of you want each other against the world!!!

Now Fullhouse you needn't stay all night...you have to get home before dawn...at least....

Bring wine and an attitude that you have first met...remember then? Before that "first child" Fullhouse has a problem with in not giving that to you pops?

Now pops, remember thinking fullhouse was the end all to everything? Remember?

If you two go this weekend with no holds barred I'll cover that for you as a gift you both deserve. Let me know and I can call in the info to any hotel or motel you need to go to...hey...take two nights... Fri/Sat... the kids will survive but you guys won't if you don't get honest. sexy. and uninhibited like in the beginning!!!

Now fullhouse go for the mini vacation!!! I'll check in tomorrow afternoon...... I'll call and reserve where ever you like.....really I want you two to get it together... No Waldorf Austoria phhhhleeeeessssseeee!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Blessings and at least accept this!!!!

love to you beaten down lovebirds!!!

Debi

Your kindness and generosity is simply amazing. What a wonderful person you are. I hope they take you up on the offer. They really need to get away and have some couple time.

Their story and the most recent thread broke my heart. He is trying so hard, but he is so hurt. She is trying, but doesn't seem to get it. But they both want to try. I wish they would do the counseling and get away with each other. It will do them a world of good.

If FH is reading this, I think of you and really think you sound depressed also. Therapy truly helps. Allow yourself to be helped. You deserve it. You deserve happiness.

Pops. You seemed so incontrol and strong when I first came on here, I didn't realize or detect the anguish you are going through. I wish, just once that our spouses could understand what they have done. So many think it "just" a mistake and how sorry they are. They don't realize it is far far far from "just" anything.

We don't see OC. Never have. We choose our marriage and our family first. Being that it was your wife with the OC, leaves you in a tough spot. I admire your ability to stick this out and to raise OC as part of your family. The cost is high though. Look at what has happened.

Please let others reach out and help both of you. You both seem to want the same thing, but can't find your way there.

Thanks LynnG. I guess I feel like I know these two since I was here on day one when pops posted. I identified with his story and pain. I guess I was thinking that our ow's H probably was going through pretty much the same thing too.

I sure hope they do this. It's amazing what time alone can do for a couple!

Fullhouse and pops have a lot to work out together. I sincerely am pulling for them.

You kind of "feel" for some people here and I don't know why. Everyone here has been to hell and back!!!

So I hope they think about it and answer me later.

love
Debi

Well pops and fullhouse I guess I got my answer...or lack of an answer.

Ok.... Fine....

Wishing you both the best and all offers are off right now. I don't want to embarrass you. I was sincere in both offers.

I'm astonished you never gave the time to say a quick no...... or yes, which I'd have loved.

I hope you work everything out without any more interference...

Debi

gemini,,,,, i can assure you that i am not embarrassed but rather quite flattered that you even made those enormously generous offers. it takes a special person with a huge heart to reach out to people who they have never met.

i have to admit that i would never have taken you up on the weekend away offer. i was however very interested in the counseling offer but fh felt that whoever said we could probably afford counseling if we didn't go out to eat as often.

i must appoligize to you for not responding. i read your post early on themorning of the 23 as prior to leaving for work. both thiur and fri i was working in l.a. and had to leave at 4:30 am to beat the traffic. when i work in l.a. i usually work longer days so i don't have to drive quite so many days.

i did post back to jl on another thread on the 24 and had all intent in responding to you and lynn at the same time. my problem is that i type so slow (hunt and peck with 2 fingers on each hand) that by the time i finished with my reply it was off to soccer and haven't had time to get back on line until now. saturdays are full with 4 soccer games and watching 2 -3 others as i am coaching the 1st all star team for u12g in our regions 1st year of existance. since i know so man people in the regions that surround us i have taken this a sort of personal challenge to have the girls do well.

lynn,,,, i must tell you that my whole married life i never put much concern on my own en's. sure they were there but i spent most of the time trying to make fh feel loved. now i wasn't perfect in by no means having spent many late nights in some friends garage talking boats, work, cars, whatever and having some drinks. also i know now that i was meting fh's en in away that i thought she needed instead of what she really needed.

one down side of what has occured from fh's affair is that i have become acutely aware of my own en's. this when i get the feeling that they are not being met that is when i come to this site for advice. i am not dwelling on the A and do not live in depression.but i think as with any bs there are and will be days or times when you feel down. so instead of lash out at fh i come here.

have to run again as the kids are screaming for crispy cream donuts. by for now, pops

Thanks for the reply, pops. I understand! Our lives DO get very busy and I also type slow, like you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I wish you and Fullhouse the very best together and we all will be here for you both in the future.

Now we're off to my sisters house for dinner!

Debi