I got pre-paid legal. Then talked to my lawyer about getting a legal seperation and he told me that they dont do that anymore. You can file for seperation but he has to be out of the house. We still live together, but I want to make sure that my our kids are set first with child support. Before the OC is born. He said it didnt matter when I file for child support. Our children will not get less that the other child. But I have heard others say get your first! Can anyone tell me what they went through. Im afraid now if I dont divorice him and set it then my kids would be getting the least because of what I have read. I dont want a divorice really, but will for my kids! Its sure that he wasnt thinking of them (or me) ******edited****** Sorry for the sickness but its true! What should I do?

<small>[ November 20, 2003, 12:28 AM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

You are so right...another cold hard fact....he wasn't thinking of you ...just himself!!!!

I don't know the laws where you are but I did not even know about this legal seperation thing and when OW sued for CS her child was worth over $500 a month while my 2 children (2 at the time and 1 on the way) were an "option" that the court had the discretion of considering and they were "graciously" given a value of $450. Her 1 worth more than my 2 combined. And I was told to get a job! That's how it worked out for us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

It might work more fair for others. I would get a second opinion.

Talk to your laywer again, or get another.

How we did it, is I filed for legal separation due to his affair. I was given spousal support, and child support. He also had to pay the mortgage, and all bills, creditcards, etc. He did have to get another address, he moved back with his parents....on paper. When OW went for CS, our children were already on there, so her's was adjusted.

You need to do this all legally. Yes, your husband would have to have a change of address. In our state, one does not have to leave the home. I know of one couple where the husband pretends to rent a room from the neighbor. When in fact he is at home.

But a change of address would be expected.

Speak openly and honestly with your laywer.

We lived in KY when my H has his affair. The lawyer I talked to told me that we could file for separation and he could continue to live in the house. We could not share a bed, etc, nor could I do anything for him, ie prepare meals, wash his clothes, anything like that. We talked about setting up the basement as an apartment for him.
However we never got that far. He came to his senses, just not soon enough to prevent the OW from becoming pregnant. I still find it interesting that he told her I was pregnant and he was ending their affair, that she went to his hotel room in tears, and he succumbed and she was pregnant 6 weeks later.
Do you what you need to do to protect your family, and NC is easiest. Just pay the support.
Don't give up rights, you'll still pay. We do have visitation provied for even though he has never requested it. He wanted nothing to do with the OC or the OW.

Texasgirl

I think legal separation depends on where you live. We live in FL and I was told by two attorneys that Fl does not recognize a legal separation - it's divorce or nothing. HMMMMMMMM

I was told the same thing in WV. I cant believe they cant help people like us who dont know what to do yet, but want to protect outselves!