Well, I'm glad you feel good about the child support issue. She was crying for more money, and brings her family and child to court? What a user.
Now for you. Do you want your marriage? Do you want a life with your husband and family intact, with all the Holidays, and School Plays, and nights out with friends, and nights in cuddling and enjoying a movie togather? Because it is yours if you want that. Your husband is horrifed at what he has done. Ashamed of the hurt he has placed at your feet. He sounds like he loves you and your family. You can have the life you always wanted with him. Let it happen.
You have just started the legal process. Let it grind away. Let the attorney handle details. You take care of you and your family. Whats done is done. Go to a movie and hold his hand. Find a comedy and laugh. It will do you good. Spend time together. I know these next few months are going to be hard. Anger is going to bubble to the top, then subside. Go through this together.
You will be happy. You will love and laugh and have a great life with your family. OW and OC have no power over you and your family. You have family traditions, and birthday parties and Thanksgiving feasts and weddings and so forth all to enjoy. They have nothing to do with any of that. It might be hard to think of right now, but this all passes.
I have said this before. Picture the affair/ow as a fire. Your husband started the fire by playing with matches and burns your house down. Now you are all sad about it. As you and your family deal with the insurance man, the contractors etc. This is pretty much all you think of. Someday, you move back into your house. Soon, normal life resumes and occaisionally you remember the fire, but it is in the past. You love the new house and soon the business of day to day life takes over and life goes on. You have to rebuild to get home. Get it?
You will be fine again. I promise. No matter what happens. So take it one day at a time for now, be open and honest. Spend time with each other, hugging and crying and laughing. But go through it together!