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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3
T
Junior Member
Junior Member
T Offline
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3
Although we're seperated and I'm sure that this child is his but I still hold on to the hope that maybe she isn't his child and this will be so much easier to repair. Not that it will be easy but just easier with out the constant reminder of a child out there. They went court yesterday to determine support and he was able to claim my support after all. Which pissed her off big time! She almost started crying saying that her D was born first so she should get more money than me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
I think the laws should be changed to protect marriages better. That children born into a marriage should be considered first always. I would NEVER have a child with out being married to the man, why do women do that? We all know about BC so don't say its an accident cause I don't buy that!
My H said it made his skin crawl just being in the same room with her and she brought her whole family INCLUDING the child to the court house. I hope I never met this woman face to face because I know I would want to hurt her as much as she has hurt me and my family too. H is trying VERY hard to work this out with me and I'm still not sure I can handle this. Cross your fingers for me.

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 778
L
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L Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 778
Well, I'm glad you feel good about the child support issue. She was crying for more money, and brings her family and child to court? What a user.

Now for you. Do you want your marriage? Do you want a life with your husband and family intact, with all the Holidays, and School Plays, and nights out with friends, and nights in cuddling and enjoying a movie togather? Because it is yours if you want that. Your husband is horrifed at what he has done. Ashamed of the hurt he has placed at your feet. He sounds like he loves you and your family. You can have the life you always wanted with him. Let it happen.

You have just started the legal process. Let it grind away. Let the attorney handle details. You take care of you and your family. Whats done is done. Go to a movie and hold his hand. Find a comedy and laugh. It will do you good. Spend time together. I know these next few months are going to be hard. Anger is going to bubble to the top, then subside. Go through this together.

You will be happy. You will love and laugh and have a great life with your family. OW and OC have no power over you and your family. You have family traditions, and birthday parties and Thanksgiving feasts and weddings and so forth all to enjoy. They have nothing to do with any of that. It might be hard to think of right now, but this all passes.

I have said this before. Picture the affair/ow as a fire. Your husband started the fire by playing with matches and burns your house down. Now you are all sad about it. As you and your family deal with the insurance man, the contractors etc. This is pretty much all you think of. Someday, you move back into your house. Soon, normal life resumes and occaisionally you remember the fire, but it is in the past. You love the new house and soon the business of day to day life takes over and life goes on. You have to rebuild to get home. Get it?

You will be fine again. I promise. No matter what happens. So take it one day at a time for now, be open and honest. Spend time with each other, hugging and crying and laughing. But go through it together!

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 2
V
Junior Member
Junior Member
V Offline
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 2
Hi,
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL MY HUSBAND DID THE SAME AND THE CHILD'S MOTHER ACTS AS THOUGH SHE IS HIS 'WIFE'...I FEEL SO HELPLESS CAN ANYONE OFFER ANY SUGGESTIONS ON HOW I DEAL WITH THIS...MY HUSBAND IS UNCO-OPERATIVE....IN PUTTING HER IN HER PLACE..I FEEL AS THOUGH THEY ARE NOT FINISHED. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />


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