I just found out that H's OC was born this week. (Found out last night by accident). H & I haven't talked about it yet (we both had separate functions last night so haven't really seen each other). I almost feel like I'm trapping him. I know. He doesn't know that I know.

Now, I'm sitting here, trying to be paitent, waiting to see what he tells me. We've had NC with OW for 2 months. She is basically looking for a husband & father for herself & her 5+ kids (Plus now OC).

Any words of advice? Things have been going so well between H and me. I feel like this is the real test. I hope we BOTH pass it. Not sure what to do, but feel hopeless right now.

If things are going well, why not just be honest? Let him know you know. I wouldn't play any games here. I would be letting him know that not only do I know, but that it is hurting me, etc. I would NOT mince words and be coy. Be honest and open.

we talked last night. He hadn't said anything to me the night he found out because I was on my way to class (just started back to school) and didn't want to ruin it for me. We talked openly and honestly.

I feel 1000 times better.

We decided that this weekend we will go together to see OC and to tell OW there will be no further contact. Period. He's planning on telling her that AFTER the paternity test, we'll mail a check each month and that will be the ONLY contact we will have. She will also be told that if she attempts to contact him in any way, he won't pick up the call.

H & I are trying to relocate out of state. This is something that had been going on for a while - before this happened. Considering that by next summer, we won't even be in the same state, contact doesn't make sense anyway. We're both stressed over this. We had 2 months of NC and it gave us a chance to focus on our M, and we've really made strides. We've both read the material on this site and want to make this work. We also decided that as long as there is NC, that we are not going to tell our families or kids about OC/OW.

In the meantiime, we have to get through this weekend and dealing with OW (who, as I have mentioned before) not only wants CS (which we are totally prepared to give), but she also wants H to divorce me and marry her. Their A was short-lived.. not a one night stand, but lasted three weeks. Obviously not going to happen.

So... we both know this last meeting will be extremely emotional. During all of this, I feel bad because I don't feel bad for the OW. Does that make sense? Aside from being an acquaintance of mine (wouldn't go so far as to say friend), she just doesn't get that it was a mistake. She initially talked to H about adoption (when she first told him about the pregnancy) but then quickly changed her mind when she found out that she can stay in the country (she's here illegally) if she keeps OC.

All in all, I feel the worst for OC. He is being used by his mother... and based on what she's done with her other kids, will continue to be used.

This whole thing is so sad and such a mess.